two.points.collapsing

the guy behind me at the post office today smelled terrible. i don’t know how a man can smell so bad. it boggles the imagination.

the speech went well this morning, i think. i opened with a quote from waking life, and after i finished and sat down, the girl next to me asked, “what movie did you say that was from?” [i told her], “oh, is that one of those indie movies?” that was cute.

and now in half an hour my first radio show of the year. since i have no interns, there will be no one to laugh at me when i stand up and play air guitar, and i can therefor rock unimpeded. if you’re interested, visit the site and you can listen in. and if you’re not, well, i’m just going to have to have fun without you.

oh oh oh! also, my belated christmas present from roommate dustin came: the wet hot american summer DVD. post-radio-show screening at my place if you’re interested. funny funny fun fun.

and i turn 21 in less than 30 hours. holy crap.

radio meeting went not too badly, and i found out that now my time slot is tuesdays from 7-9 PST. set your clocks for college radio rock. or not, because honestly i don’t care what you do. (i’m trying out this “disinterested” attitude of getting people interested in me. how’s it working?)

i finally finished reading darwin yesterday and now i’m free to continue reading love in the time of cholera, and i just had to quote this little passage for my friends abroad this spring:

nevertheless, when she returned home overwhelmed by so many experiences, tired of traveling, drowsy with her pregnancy, the first thing she was asked in the port was what she thought of the marvels of europe, and she summed up many months of bliss with four words of caribbean slang:

“it’s not so much.”

that’s funny. i like this book. i’d like to finish it too, because i have three others stacked up waiting to be read and about a half dozen i’d like to buy soon. my small, slow brain be damned, i say.

more tomorrow (well, later today) probably, like a reminder to listen in to my show. you know, if you want to. see if i care.

i’ve spent most of the day writing a 5-7 minute speech for my business communications class tomorrow, with the help of the drukqs cd playing in the background (truly though-provoking), a break for batman on cartoon network, and some wild cherry pepsi. what a day, what a day. i think the speech turned out pretty well though, and i thought about posting it here but it might be a little too cheesy for that. perhaps if i look at it more later i won’t think that anymore and i’ll share my eloquent piece of rhetoric with the world. probably not though.

i am mighty glad i didn’t have class today though, which is only spoiled by the fact that i have to go to a KSCR meeting tonight to find out when my radio time slot will be this semester. i like being a part of the radio station an all, but the meetings are always a pain because some people just loooove to talk. and talk and talk and talk. and this is counter to my plan to barbeque tonight, because i’m a hungry fella. guess it’ll have to wait a few hours. but i will have my cheeseburgers, believe you me.

josh and i just took a trip for cheeseburgers and record store cruising. since we had to take the bus, we had to make a night out of it, but it was a good time. honestly, putting an in and out burger and an amoeba music within a few blocks of eachother was the best thing to happen to me this semester. we grabbed some tasty burgers and then spent well over an hour in the record store. they just have so much great stuff! new and used. i got an ultimate fakebook and a jawbox cd, and josh went nuts and bought 8 cd’s because his conscience is catching up with him for having burned copies of cds by bands he really likes. it’s okay for him to go so crazy though because he got free money this week — but that’s his story to tell, not mine.

anyway, we were there forever, and looked at cool art concert posters and everything, then took the bus home. this was the funny part. on the way south back to campus, there was a guy across from us who sneezed really hard. into his hand. josh pointed this out to me whispering, “so that guy just blew a huge thing of snot into his hand, and now he’s staring at it — i wonder what he’s going to do about it.” so we watched him, and he kind of just put his hand in his lap for a minute, then brought it back up and looked at it again. i told josh he should go for either the rub on the pant leg, or maybe just rub it out between his two palms until it dried up and crumbled off. josh said if it were him, he’d go for wiping it on the shirt. neither one of us would have considered (we agreed afterward) doing what this guy did though. HE LICKED IT CLEAN! i couldn’t believe it. it was so hard not to bust out laughing. apparently that wasn’t enough for him either, because he went digging for more, and licked THAT clean too! it honestly blew my mind. i therefore dubbed this guy “mr. slurpy”.

now i’m not usually prone to toilet humor, but seeing this happen was too funny not to share. i hope you forgive me for this small break from the usually classy collapsing.

also: i sure am glad martin luther king jr. changed the world and i get to honor his memory all day tomorrow by not going to school. we’re even going to have a barbeque i think, since it’s california and you can do that in january here. take that, rest of country.

see you tomorrow when i wake up at about noon.

back from a midnight showing of waking life just now, and upon second viewing i’m confirmed in the fact it’s the coolest movie of last year. it lost none of its charm the second time, for me — just a little bit of the wonderment, naturally, since i knew what i was getting. i hope it comes out on dvd sometime soon.

we also watched the godfather tonight, earlier, and man is that a great one too. the baptism/murder montage at the end always makes me delight in the possibilities of film. and you know what else i like? on nights where i just enjoy things this wonderful, just sit back and soak things in that are so delightful and impressive, it’s a lot easier to not have anyone to come home to (or come home with, i guess). if only art and literature and cinema could fulfill all my basic needs for companionship, i’d have the easiest time of completing myself.

finding a person to fill that function, even for a finite interval, is proving much more difficult.

had a good time last night at the party. spencer’s place always delivers. i even beat a girl at pool — i am the man.

also, josh and i (he went with me to the party) observed some really gorgeous girls that came with boyfriends that didn’t look very cool or good looking at all. i don’t know about you (personally i think that everyone does this) but it makes me feel better knowing that average joes somehow manage to end up with amazing looking girls sometimes. it gives a guy hope.

nevermind that fact that we didn’t actually speak to any. that’s just details.

i think i got my first birthday present today. i say i think, because it’s this huge envelope with a return address i don’t recognize and would have to reason to be expecting anything from, so i’m assuming it’s a gift from someone. maybe it’s just some random crap though. i guess i’ll find out on thursday.

so as it turns out i’m going to a party tonight after all (don’t scream hypocrite, i’m very sensitive). it’s okay though, because it’s not a regular stupid college affair, it’s away from campus in my buddy spencer’s nice place on wilshire, and the crowds that he and his roommates draw are almost entirely cool kids and no meatheads. so it’s different and acceptable. and this may have to be night #3 of drinking (the corruption is beginning, i can feel it…) because, well, see above. plus it’s a three day weekend, so many would say i owe it to myself to stay up until 4am and come home wobbly.

and what kind of a man would i be if i didn’t believe what everyone else told me?

just kidding–i don’t see it as caving in, i see it as part of the grand “i’m turning 21 this month” experiment to determine to what extent alcohol will play a part in my adult social life. it’s all in the name of science, folks.

[brian then realizes that talking about drinking makes him sound really immature and young and stupid and shuts up promptly. have a good night kids.]

writing things out (read: whining) sometimes make me feel better, so either indulge me here or just skip over this part.

i’ve been feeling really socially unsatisfied lately. i go to class, i come home and do schoolwork or watch movies or just hang around listening to music or goofing around with my roommates. now i love my roommates to death, and i love movies and music and school is even not so bad this semester, so that’s all fine. but i’ve definitely been ill at ease for most of this week because there’s something missing for sure. i feel pent up, like i’m never getting to interact with anyone outside my small circle and it’s driving me nuts. again, nothing at all against my friends. they’re the best thing in my life, i’d say.

so what do i do about this? do i go to a party? see, that might be your first guess, and i’ve thought about it. but i’ve been to parties. i already know that i don’t like parties. so i wouldn’t just put myself in that situation where i know i wouldn’t have a good time or feel any better. it would probably depress me more. part of me is wondering maybe it’s an acquired taste and i just need to do it because that’s what college is and i’m going to regret missing out on it someday, but the other half says you know yourself better than that, and that’s not your scene. so how else do i fill this little gap that seems to be yawning especially wide this week? i wish i knew.

it’s just so rare for me to meet someone that really interests me, and if ever i felt like i needed that, it’s right now. only i never know how to bring it about on my own; it’s always just been a matter of chance for me. so i’m stuck i guess. stuck waiting — or looking for the opportunity i guess, which is like waiting, but with more tension. ugh.

at least i got some death and dismemberment tickets. i could be the loneliest soul around and still be happy that night. and it’s only six weeks away . . . .

(buries face in hands)

holy crap i almost forgot to change the song of the week. i didn’t though. i’m just a half a day late.

anyway, i have grown to really appreciate a nice phat beat now and then thanks to my techno-listening roommate. he knows his stuff. but even independent of that, once you’ve heard “where’s your head at?” by the basement jaxx, it doesn’t matter what sort of a music fan you are. this song is rump-shakingly infectious. (i promise never to use that phrase again. now let’s move on).

anyway, so that’s the new song of the week, enjoy it while you can. and if you haven’t seen the video for that one either, i recommend tracking it down. it’s got all these monkeys with semi-human faces playing music and singing and causing trouble for these weird scientists that are trying to steal some guy’s brain… it’s scary and weird and wonderful.

today:

i didn’t have class until two so i worked on a secret project all morning and enjoyed some time to myself. not working is awesome.

i got some pictures developed and found out that i need much more practice to get the hang of my new flash. it’s okay though, because learning is good.

i barely survived my business law class. holy mother of god is that class boring. still better than finance though.

i went to a free radio-station sponsored show (my show starts on tuesday nights in the next few weeks, by the way) on campus with a band called cattle decapitation headlining. no, i’m not kidding. they were hardcore/metal and i only went because it was free and my friend spencer likes them and my other friend justin put it together. the singer had an inhuman ability to go from ultra-low grumbly metal screams to ultra-high shrieking metal screams. it sounded unreal, but it was just him and a microphone — no effects, no nothing. impressive, even if it was pretty bad music. before them was a band called shiva that i actually kind of liked, as far as metal goes. they were more musical and did more shredding instead of just having one guy scream a lot, and they had cool creepy keyboards too. shiva is better than cattle decapitation, everybody. that’s my official stance.

after that i went to shoot another role of film because practice makes perfect. now it’s about midnight and time to start homework. see you tomorrow, thursday the 17th, which, what’s this? is only a single week from my 21st birthday. send money or i’ll think you don’t love me.