two.points.collapsing

a few questions:

–is this not the worst thing you’ve ever seen?

(answer: yes, if you’re me. i had to look over this site for business communications class. look at that domain name. ugh. (shudder) i hope my professor assigned that as a joke).

–why does malcolm in the middle make me want to commit grievous acts of violence?

(answer: i can’t put my finger on it, and i’ve only seen one episode i think, but just seeing the commercials that always air during the simpsons make me want to weep and/or unleash my rage on its producers).

–why didn’t anyone tell me the state of the union was tonight?

(answer: i guess it’s no one else’s duty to keep me informed about the world at large. but i was oblivious until we talked about it in comm. class today. i feel so out of the loop. is there going to be some sort of mocking coverage on comedy central? otherwise i guess i don’t really care).

–is it even possible to win that first game of blitzball in final fantasay X?

(answer: i am a dork).

–so brian, what do you think of gulliver’s travels?

(answer: i don’t know, let me go find out right now).

–isn’t your outstanding radio show on tonight at 7pm pacific time?

(answer: why yes it is, are you going to listen? are you a fan? if you are, i have even more questions for you because it’s not very good; but i’ll ask those in a more appropriate forum and thanks for listening anyway).

–more root beer sir?

(answer: yes please).

been reading all night, avoiding the temptations of television and final fantasy, and i finished love in the time of cholera just before the day ended, accomplishing my goal. i think that was almost a hundred pages in an evening, which is pretty good for me. i don’t read very fast because i like to savor a good book. i read darwin pretty fast because there wasn’t much to pore over, but this one i took my time on. it just so happened that i was able to dedicate many hours to finishing it tonight and still taking my time. so worth it. very good book, at least if you like romance. which i do. ladies, keep that in mind.

tomorrow i’ll start the next one, a book of stories by jonathan swift; mainly gullivers travels and a modest proposal are what i’m interested in, but the book has a ton of other stuff in it too and it was only four dollars, so i might flip through the rest of it if i feel like it. or i might not because i’ve got three books in the queue behind it. i’ll let you know, because it’s so pertinent that i make my reading conquests public.

for the moment though my eyes deserve a rest. so i will sit and listen to the Mixtape of the Year (2001-2002 season) and relax.

i was reclining here in my desk chair with blogger up on the screen trying to think if a single interesting thing happened to me today and you know what? total blank. i thought it was funny that during my business law a girl sitting right behind us in the big auditorium said pretty firmly and clearly, “i hate you,” pointed toward our professor, but you kinda had to be there.

so i will reach instead into yesterday for something worth sharing. i bought plane tickets yesterday to visit cities far away, all the way across the country, for spring break in march. i hope the northeast can handle me. and it excites me that i am going new places in the near future, not just saying how i wish i could, or think it’d be fun if i did. the tickets are bought. i’m straight going. and that’s that.

oh, and as a bonus i get to see a second stop on the death and dismemberment tour as they go through boston while i’m visiting my friends there. just a coincidence, i swear. a super fantastic rocking coincidence. hell yeah.

now if you’ll excuse me, i’m going to try to finish a book.

last night was the Super Duper Double Birthday Bash that celebrated the passing of justin and i into legal drinking age, and oh my god did we pass with gusto. we bought over 150 dollars worth of party supplies to add to what we both already had waiting at home, marking our first legal purchase of spirits. it was almost disappointing, the lady at the store didn’t even think twice about it. i guess we look like nice responsible adults. uhh, right.

the actual party was a success too in that plenty of people showed up, and plenty of those people were cute girls. plus, justin and i both got plenty of drinks into our birthday bodies — more than plenty in my case at least. but there’s still an awful lot left in our kitchen right now so it would appear another party is in order in the next few weeks.

the only problem i had with this party is that i wore a tie and a collared shirt and looked extra suave, and still i didn’t get a single birthday kiss. and the cute Girl With a Hat i was talking to left the party while i was in the bathroom, umm, cleansing my system, and hence i was unable to say goodbye or tell her not to leave. weak. but so it goes; we’ll just have to throw another one soon and i’ll have to wear another tie and try it all over again with maybe a little less poison in my body.

oh, and apparently one of my friends puked something like four times off of our fourth floor balcony. damn, i wish i could have seen that.

i’ve decided that i want a monkey.

today in my anthropology discussion we were watching this video about evolution, and one of the segments was about how smart chimpanzees are. there was a chimp in a little cage/room with a glass wall, and inside was a screen with numbers on it. the scientist woman would put two pieces of candy on a little shelf on the outside of the glass wall, and then ask the chimp how many there were, and the chimp touched the number two on the screen (out of the five or so choices). then the chimp would get the candy. it was funnier though the next time through, demonstrating that they’re smart enough to even understand the concept of zero. the scientist would put no candy on the shelf, and then say something like, “how many are there here now?”, and the chimp touched the zero (very smart creature), but then the scientist just said, “yeah, that’s right! there’s no candy! too bad huh?” i thought that was pretty funny.

the clincher though was them showing a little child chimp climbing on a rocking chair in the play room for chimps, dressed in shorts and a university of ohio baseball shirt (that’s the university where the lab was located). i think it was cuter than a lot of human children.

so since they’re so smart and heartwarming, i’m going to see about getting a monkey. if you have any monkey-getting leads, let me know.

birthday turned out to be pretty great thanks to some secret surprises delivered on behalf of my friend shannon by two of her girlfriends here (one of them my raquetball nemesis — whom i will obliterate in the near future, mark my words). now this was fantastic because, well, for one, shannon’s in italy and the fact she went so out of her way was very touching. and secondly: cheesecake. hot damn do i love me some cheesecake. that girl sure knows what she’s doing. so getting great presents and a birthday cake from a girl overseas can kinda turn a birthday into a big deal all of the sudden, and i ended the day very happy.

now i have to get this class crap out of the way so i can come home and play final fantasy X. my favorite part of that game so far? i got to change the main character’s name to brian, and one of the magical monsters’ name to josh (my roommate) because it has weird piercings like he does.

non-birthday-related: someone called my top ten from yesterday from “truly inspired”, which leads me to believe that he must be brilliant, because it takes one to know one and it works both ways in this case. visit lovelettertypewriter, collapsing friend #17.

wow, 17. that’s huge.

yeah, and if anything worthwhile happens for this birthday (not looking very likely at this point, will have to wait until Super Large Double Birthday Bash on saturday night for any real fun, i’m afraid), i’ll let you know.

just so you don’t think it’s a total loss though, i did get a chef’s hat for my birthday today. and final fantasy X. my friends kick ass.

it’s for real. i’m 21 now. click on the box to send me birthday wishes. i will reply with an address to which you can send your expensive gifts.

happy birthday to me. now i better get drinking.

oh heavens it’s wednesday and time for a new song of the week, isn’t it? well before i quite get to it, i really have to make a confession first. so in list form, here i bare my soul and name a new song of the week:

ten or so reasons (the first ten or so i could think of, not the top ten or ten chronological reasons) why i love j. robbins; by brian longtin:

1: engineered, mixed, produced* and played extra percussion for braid’s frame and canvas.

2: produced and played additional strings and percussion for texas is the reasons’s do you know who you are?

3: wrote, sang, played guitar and other instruments, produced, recorded, mixed, and even did some graphic design for burning airlines’ mission control!

4: produced and mixed the stereo’s three hundred

5: produced, recorded, engineered and mixed shiner’s the egg

6: produced and mixed the dismemberment plan’s emergency & i

7: wrote, sang, played guitar and other instruments, recorded and mixed burning airlines’ identikit

8: produced the promise ring’s nothing feels good

9: produced, recorded, lent extra vocals to hey mercedes’ everynight fire works

10: burning airlines live, september 14th 2001 (my first time seeing them live; an outstanding show)

and 11, hence the “or so”, is jawbox. i just picked up for your own special sweetheart at amoeba this weekend, and it’s great, of course. another case of the “why didn’t i listen to this band a long time ago” predicament, but better late than never. so after all this beating around the bush and praising of musical brilliance, the song of the week is chicago piano. thank you and goodnight.

*in some cases he wasn’t the sole producer, although often he was; and either way, he could kick your ass.

so i turn 21 in only 7 hours now and that’s scary. like i said before: holy crap.

but enough about that (until later). what else happened today? not a lot. i got five pieces of mail, four of them birthday-related, yesterday afternoon, and today nothing but a box of contact lenses i ordered monday. and although i’m duly impressed with the speed of their arrival, it’s not a very exciting thing to receive the day before your birthday.

oh, and i didn’t actually open any of the birthday-related mail yet, because it’s not my birthday yet.

and i went in and picked up my last check today, which i was projecting would be awkward and painful, but was really quick and painless and fine. my boss was happy to see me, and said she missed me, and asked how i was; it was all very nice. i’m glad there are no hard feelings (or at least if there were she kept them to herself and didn’t spoil my day. heh.) so i’m cashed out and done with that place.

oh, and it has been decided as of last night there will be a party here saturday to honor the passage out of childhood for both myself and my pal justin (who turned 21 today, quel coincidence!) this saturday in my apartment. if you read this, well, you must be interested enough in my life to stop by for a drink if you’re in the neighborhood, so please do so. world travelers are also welcome to traverse nations to attend because this is a once in a lifetime event (for me, that is — how good a time you have is up to you).