Author: brian

i think not buying any cd’s or seeing any concerts for a few weeks has put me on a music binge, so here’s another music post.

cave in’s cd jupiter was really damn cool. when a buddy of mine sent it to me online to check out, i remember thinking, “wow, this is really different. and fucking good.” i love that song “in the stream of commerce”. my thinking until this week: cave in rocks.

then i went on this little sampling spree and was trying to hear clips from a bunch of new releases, and found myself watching the new cave in video for “anchor”, the first single off their album antenna (watch it: quicktime : realplayer : windows mp).

it’s total garbage! at least that’s my first reaction. i can’t even bring myself to listen to that song again though to give it another try. maybe other tracks on the album are better (i’m hoping, since i was and probably still am planning to see them next weekend when they play the troubadour), but that song at least is such a step down. it’s like rca took the sound cave in impressed me with on the last album, removed the weirdness that made it interesting, the vocal talent that made it respectable, and the real pounding guitar parts that made it exciting, and turned it into a nice safe hard-rock band no one can really have an opinion on. bingo! radio playability!

bastards.

on a more positive note though, at least twice when i’ve seen piebald, travis has been wearing a cave in shirt (they’re even touring together right now) that spells out ‘cave in’ with elements from the periodic table in their little boxes so it reads Ca V E In. that, i think, is very cool.

see, i don’t hate you cave in, i just think you have so much more potential!

[now hearing this: piebald – “they don’t understand us at the academy”…well, in my head anyway. great song.]

last week when i had a recover song up for song of the week, i forgot to post a link to the video because i am not very smart.

recover’s ‘my only cure’ video

i really love the parts where they knock over mic stands with their guitars for some reason…it just seems like a very rock and roll thing to do.

man, i love this song though. they’re touring through here next week with taking back sunday but a) i don’t think i like taking back sunday and b) i really don’t like going to shows at the palace because it’s too big for a good rock show. most nights of the week i think it’s a dance club or something; they have like 30 disco balls of various sizes hanging all over the place like grape vines. so anyway, i think i’ll be missing that one.

oh well, i’ll just watch the video again.

[now hearing this: smoking popes – ‘no more smiles’.]

{late addition: after watching it just now, i have to say it takes balls to be in a touring band with such blatantly white trash haircuts as they are sporting in this video. that lead singer looks like there’s a 70% chance he spent part of his youth in a trailer. if only i could grow my hair out without it getting wavy, i tell ya.}

alright, wait a minute, i take it all back. i’m already starting to feel better. if things are going badly, there’s always a backup plan (check out those animated gif’s! that could be me!).

i mean, the world could not possibly underappreciate and undercompensate a brilliant person such as myself, could it? i may be a cynic, but that would just be going to far to think one would not be successful in proportion to one’s talent and aqcuired abilities. otherwise you’ll have john galt to answer to!

additionally, i have forgotton to post a song of the week, but that is easily remedied. you probably already knew rilo kiley had a great cd out last year but i wasn’t fully convinced until lately when i picked it up. if you, like me, are a little behind, i suggest you allow me to share my slumbering heart with you. no, not literally; i mean track 8 on the execution of all things.

[now hearing this: minus the bear. i wore a shirt i got from them to a bar this weekend and i think the little hand-drawn bear on the front might have made me come off as socially maladjusted. is it cool for 22 year old men to wear shirts with cute little bear drawings on the front? sexy even? if not, hopefully a lovely lady reader will set me straight lest i go on unknowingly being weird and fruity.]

for those of you who may be of the mind that one cannot spend a whole day worrying — as if this were a preoccupation relegated only to the background of a more active, busy day — i present to you sunday, april 6th. no schoolwork was done, no outings were made, no good ideas were generated. the only fleeting distractions from the whirlpool of doubt were a few quick rounds of video game violence.

i went through a week or two last year where i couldn’t sleep well because i was worried about my massive college debts ruining my life, but that went away when the money showed up and i could just spend it while i went to school. now that the grace period is slipping away though i’m afraid the fright will get in me again and i might become a much less relaxed and pleasant person. how unfortunate is it that one should have to choose between a job you enjoy and that could lead to a satisfying long-term career and a job that you are forced to take to make ends meet over a difference of a few thousand dollars a year?

one of my roommates suggested i run away to a random suburb of berlin or something and just hide from my creditors and start fresh; if you have one of those “learn to speak german in 30 days” books (or books on tape — i’m not that picky) you wouldn’t mind lending out for a while, let me know. i should at least look at all my options.

today i happened to hear the entry-level wages one might earn if one were to get a job out of college where i am currently working as an intern, which was sort of my functioning ‘plan A’; the surprisingly low figure made me realize i could be very poor for a few years out of college if that (as yet unwritten) debut novel doesn’t make me a fortune… so it’s a little scary.

hey, i did get a mean free lunch today though courtesy of that very same company, and there’s nothing scary about delicous free sushi.

i seem to be on some regularized mon-wed-fri schedule. that’s so lame. i need to think outside the box.

wait, i hate when people use that phrase, even as a joke on that phrase. it’s so lame that making fun of it is even lame. i only refrained from deleting it as a lesson to myself.

what i should have said is that i need to remember to write not only when i’m in between things at work or in between things on a sunday afternoon. i didn’t write last night though because i was busy seeing dogma at the arclight in hollywood, with a nice long q & a with kevin smith afterward. a few things you may want to ask someone as cool as myself who goes to things like this could be, for example, “what’s he like in person?”, to which i say very cool. he likes to talk, but he’s a damn funny guy. the length of his stories didn’t really keep them from being easy and interesting to listen to. he is very large in person though — he said he’s gained a bit of weight since dogma, which even he said wasn’t a thin kevin in the first place.

were you to ask, “what’d he talk about?” i would kindly list off a sample of topics including why he had the cast he did, the protests around the movie, some script stuff he is and isn’t working on despite rumors, his move out to LA, and some actually very sad updates on the drug problems of ‘jay’, a.k.a. jason mewes, among other things. it was sort of disturbing the way he made light of really serious things like drug problems and his kid potentially getting hurt by demonstrators, but then i thought about it and i’d probably do the same thing because jokes make things less scary.

if you pressed me further and even cared to know “what was the crowd like?” i would have to admit that it sucked. it was filled with superfans that had to tell him they were also from new jersey and tell their little story before asking their stupid question which wasn’t even much to begin with. god that was grating. it got to one point where someone asked seriously, “i admire you as a screenwriter…who are some people you admire in film writing?”, which i think is a great question. but after he couldn’t think of one for a few seconds, people started shouting out names, like there was a right answer they were trying to guess and win kevin smith’s affection. and he would just say, “yeah, he’s pretty good…”, basically nulling the whole question. i wanted to mash those people. jesus.

and if you just happened to ask, you know, as sort of a closer, “how was the arclight theatre, by the way? i’ve never been there.” i would fire right back at you that hey, i hadn’t either but that place is really damn nice. expensive, sure, but at least there you can see why. the place was enormous, the chairs were so cushy, even the front row has a great view of the screen, great sound and picture, and perhaps the best part: double-wide padded armrests. that’s right, there’s room for two elbows on that puppy, so no more movie theatre politics governing who leans which way. it’s your world baby and it’s a beautiful thing.

of course if you wanted to talk after that i’d say i have to catch up with you later, i’ve got stuff i need to do. then i’d ask for your phone number and maybe call you this weekend cause it’s wednesday already and i don’t have any plans. eep!

[now hearing this: soulwax – too many dj’s.]

i had this barnes and noble gift card from christmas i hadn’t used yet. i hadn’t used it because i had so many books already in a stack on my bookshelf i still needed to read. but i caught up finally so i went shopping last night.

i punched in a few of the books i wished i had, and one of them was 81% off the cover price. i was offered a book which i was planning to buy someday anyway, in hardcover for no less, for $3.98 instead of a the listed twenty-two or so dollars it technically should have cost me. why the unbelievable bargain? i wondered for several minutes. are they grievously overstocked on this particular item? are they trying to flex their muscles and promote a writer they, as a corporation, want to succeed by fueling his success with their own lost profits? did they raid the publishers’ warehouse, steal boxes and boxes of this book, and plan to fence the cheap copies quickly for some cash before the feds came down on them, hoping to flee to south america and retire on their illicit fortunes? or was it a terrible computer glitch, perpetrated by some elite hacker/terrorist, perhaps even an inside job, meant to bring the towering bn.com giant toppling to its ruin?

oh no! how can i possibly buy this book in good conscience? it could mean the end of my favorite comfortingly wood-panelled mega-chain bookstore! i’d be dooming myself and millions of others to [shudder] borders, for christ’s sake…a vision of a future i don’t want to be a part of. no. i should probably just email them and tell them something is wrong with their website. everything will be okay.

of course, four dollars is a really cheap for a hardcover, and if i order two books i get free shipping even…

well maybe as long as i don’t link the book directly, everything will be fine. there won’t be an epidemic of undercharging, no one will be the wiser, i’ll get my deal, and things will be just fine. yeah, that sounds better actually.

boy i love books.

[now hearing this: someone was playing that coldplay song that’s everywhere earlier today, and now that crazy piano part is looping through my head repeatedly. i don’t think i’ve ever even heard that whole tune all the way through, but all the same i keep going do-do do do-do do do-do, do-do do do-do do do-do…]

making the best use of my nearly-finished college days, i have been going to a lot of parties and ingesting a lot of spirits. three nights this week, one of them a wednesday. not like graduating would stop me from doing that again, because it is fun, you understand. and i hope to be having more, not less of that when school is through.

also more beach trips. we were out there for about 4 hours yesterday, and the sun was warm, the breeze was cool, and the orange cream sodas were delicious (i dare you to find me a better beach drink). i always leave the beach feeling cleansed somehow; there’s something very emotionally settling to just sitting in the fresh ocean air and lounging, reading, or skipping rocks. lovely. i might try to go every weekend until october, if i can.

i can’t go a whole day without listening to the latest recover release from last year, ceci n’est pas recover. the cover is a play on the magritte painting with the pipe, in case you were wondering. but the tunes are great, especially my only cure, which i probably sing to myself even more times a day than i play it through my stereo, which is a lot already. that’s why it’s the song of the week.

[now hearing this: not recover, i swear, i can stop at any time…]

some of my roommate’s friends visited this week and it was fun having them over. they checked the weather back home before they left, and it said it might snow there. i can hardly believe that, because i think it’s in the low 80’s here today and if i’m not headed for the beach tomorrow then i’ll be a holy hypocrite. spring fever comes on hard when it gets so beautiful so early in the year, and the beach is calling, beckoning, tugging at my soul. yesterday was gorgeous too but i had to settle for reading in the park for a few hours between classes. it was still lovely.

i don’t know what more i can possibly do than read a book on a park bench on a sunny afternoon with my skateboard leaning against the armrest next to me though, and still not get picked up by hoardes of adorable english majors. it just doesn’t add up.

got some parties lined up this for weekend, got a new book underway, got five weeks left of school. things are pretty much excellent.

the only thorn is the same old problem as always, which i am ever attempting to steel myself against. i don’t understand how i can love, hate, be consumed by and want nothing to with something all at once, but as soon as i figure that out i figure i’ll be golden. and i’m sure that’ll be any time now.

[now hearing this: one of my coworkers has that ozzy song where it starts, “has he lost his mind….” as her cell phone ring, which i think is awesome even though i don’t know the name of that song.]

having a tiny piece of apple peel or tortilla chip stuck between two of my ever-so-slightly crooked teeth and then finally dislodging it after a long volley of intense tongue and fingernail attempts is definitely one of the most satisfying feelings i get to experience on a humdrum wednesday afternoon. it’s good to be alive sometimes.

this is on a completely different note and a little long, but i had to write something — i have developed this recent fixation on michael moore. this comes right at a time when everyone is probably sick of hearing the comments on his little oscar speech, but my interest isn’t really with that incident as much as with the man himself. see, the opinions seem to be so split on him one way or the other, with a lot of liberals loving him and what he stands for, and a lot of conservatives deriding him, his credibility, his methods, his ideas, his work as a whole… i don’t know how to feel.

i liked his book, and liked his movie quite a lot. i enjoyed them and i laughed and they made me think about current politics — these are all things i’m sure he wanted his audience to do. a lot of the criticisms of both are to the imcompleteness of the information and the picture he paints though, which makes me wonder if i liked his works because they were what i wanted to hear, but that what i wanted to hear isn’t fully true or is at least slanted.

but then i thought, what if it is slanted? is that the worst crime a man can commit, to make a documentary with an angle, or to write a book offering his own perspective on the statistics and facts available? in a time where corporations run most media channels — enormous conglomerates with interests in everything and at the same time power to filter the information we receive — how can we blame someone for wanting to mount an opposition? even if his set of facts aren’t full, at least they offer an opposing set of partial truths to the ones you might get from another more right-wing source, right? the people who are easily led at least get something to counter what is tugging at them from the other end of the spectrum, and those who are more intellectually independent seek out further information to either support or disprove what they saw in a movie (yes, a movie, which could stem into an entire new discussion on what we expect from film as far as ‘reality’ goes).

but the point is, either way, at least information is being transferred, which in the end was the whole point, wasn’t it? i see no reason why moore or his opponents wouldn’t want people to be motivated to find out more on their own, even if it eventually meant having their original claims refuted. i’m sure the intent behind the film or the book was to spark interest and inspire curiosity more than it was to provide the all-encompassing guide to violence in america, or uncover the full and final ‘true story’ of current american politics. a skeptical public is the best kind of public, isn’t it?

my real problem is the outright distrust i’ve developed of all information sources outside myself. thanks to the constant barrage of disagreeing viewpoints available to me, i no longer believe any statistic offered to me no matter what the source, and i don’t entirely believe any news story no matter who the teller. it always goes back to the method of collection of data or the source of information, which you never really know, and can never fully trust.

this is why i almost never argue, only absorb, because i hate to take a stand on something i’m not sure of, and i have come to a point where i am sure of nothing. how do i know the source of moore’s statistics is any more or less credible than those of his detractors? i don’t. and i never will. i suppose this is what you could call growing up in a media-saturated world. whereas some people are now victim to it all and believe everything they hear, which is sad but i’m guessing true in some cases, i go the opposite way and grow to believe nothing i hear about anything. i know there is a war. i know people are dying and things are exploding. i know people with power are doing things without telling me, because that’s how it has always been and i don’t expect it to be any different today. the details, however, are all subject to change, depending who you ask.

i want to know everything but all i’m really sure of is that it isn’t possible. socratic maturity at age 22; i don’t know if that’s an achievement or a tragedy.

[now hearing this: i could tell you but i would just be lying anyway.]