for those of you who may be of the mind that one cannot spend a whole day worrying — as if this were a preoccupation relegated only to the background of a more active, busy day — i present to you sunday, april 6th. no schoolwork was done, no outings were made, no good ideas were generated. the only fleeting distractions from the whirlpool of doubt were a few quick rounds of video game violence.

i went through a week or two last year where i couldn’t sleep well because i was worried about my massive college debts ruining my life, but that went away when the money showed up and i could just spend it while i went to school. now that the grace period is slipping away though i’m afraid the fright will get in me again and i might become a much less relaxed and pleasant person. how unfortunate is it that one should have to choose between a job you enjoy and that could lead to a satisfying long-term career and a job that you are forced to take to make ends meet over a difference of a few thousand dollars a year?

one of my roommates suggested i run away to a random suburb of berlin or something and just hide from my creditors and start fresh; if you have one of those “learn to speak german in 30 days” books (or books on tape — i’m not that picky) you wouldn’t mind lending out for a while, let me know. i should at least look at all my options.