as a note, before you scowl, i added band links not because i want to make damn sure you know what i listen to, but because i am lazy and clicking down a list is my favorite way of checking when things get updated (i.e. tour schedules), and i use this as my homepage.
eat that, myYahoo!
[now hearing this: not illicit downloads from the forthcoming ozma cd my friend sent me, honest.]
since putting up that picture i thought, “hey that’s sort of narcissistic isn’t it?” but then it occurred to me that it’s just about the same as having an author’s bio on the back sleeve of a book, which is standard practice, and i didn’t feel as bad. plus i want people to be able to know who to make fun of if they ever see me out in the street somewhere.
i keep thinking about this one thing and i’m pretty sure that isn’t doing anyone any good because overanalyzing usually gets in the way of enjoying. and i enjoyed yesterday afternoon for an hour between classes quite a lot, and i should just be excited and go from there and try to play it cool instead of worrying. but then here i am writing this like a goon, which is probably a symptom of my not doing a good job of not worrying…
i know i sound like an idiot. how about a book review? i haven’t done that in ages and that’s nice and distracting and off-topic. yes, let’s do that.
–jean-paul sartre’s no exit. i really like sartre and so even though this was for my existentialism class i was all for it. the play seemed underdeveloped though, in all honesty, and to just sort of stop in the middle of nothing really happening. sure, that’s sort of the point of the philosophy, but it didn’t make a very exciting one-act, is all i’m saying. perhaps the finer points of the dialogue will be more enlightening after i’ve read the corresponding passages on human relations from being and nothingness, which i have to do for my last paper of college next week. i’ll let you know if that’s the case.
–art spiegelman’s maus. what a great idea! a holocaust tale (all true), told in graphic novel form through cat and mouse characters. great concept and done pretty well. i thought just now how corny it’s going to sound when i say, “it really brought it down to a personal, human level,” but that won’t change the fact that it’s true. the father-son interactions give you a strange mix of sympathy and annoyance with the father (auschwitz survivor),and some of the camp descriptions are pretty brutal — it’s not edge-of-your-seat stuff or anything, but it was a good solid read if you aren’t embarrassed to be reading comic books. which you shouldn’t be unless you’re a jerk.
there, that was fun, right? now back to looking forward to the cursive show friday — another thing i apparently can’t stop talking about because i am boring.
[now hearing this: dntel – ‘the dream of evan and chan’, which apparently you have to listen to instead of the postal service cause it’s so much better. i guess.]
…and seeing as how i’ve only had this haircut for, oh, almost a year now, it seemed about time to update my portrait. how could you possibly resist now.
[now hearing this: for crying out loud, my roommates are watching mr. personality. what have i done?]
it would figure that after saturday was so wonderful that whole reality thing would have to come crashing down with another sharp stab of financial anxiety. why do i keep playing with that stupid calculator? i just keep getting the same results: you’re gonna be broke soon kid. so why bother worrying about it at this point if it’s not going to change?
precisely. so let’s stick to good old hope and optimism here and try to hold that blissful feeling a little longer; maybe try to arrange it so it comes back soon. girls love starving romantics, right?
to aid in this i will listen to one of those dynamite postal service tracks that helped me along the first time, which as it turns out isn’t hopeful or optimistic at all. it’s a rejection song. hopefully that’s not bad luck though because it’s an awfully lovely rejection song all the same.
[now hearing this: velvet teen.]
a few things that a girl can do absolutely right to make me want terribly badly to see her again very soon (a list based on very recent experience):
–actually know some of my most favorite bands, and even talk about how she knows and has even played music with some of the members of those bands.
–sleep on my shoulder
–smile a lot
–be both adorable and sexy
–be reading atlas shrugged and excited to finish it, or at least say that when asked about good books she’s read recently
–get caught checking out my home library
–notice the little scar on my face that means she must have been looking for a while (i would be more specific but that’d be giving it away)
–wake up at 9 but stay in bed til noon talking, not wanting to get up
–when i sneeze while i’m driving her home, say, “shut up” instead of “god bless you”
–say really flattering things like, “you do have really great eyes,” but follow them up with strange things like, “i’m glad they’re not brown.” that makes a much more subtle and funny compliment.
in other words, last night’s party was even more of a success than i had hoped. at least personally. on my way home after dropping her off i was listening to the postal service cd turned way up — which i hadn’t heard yet and which i love already — driving down vermont with the windows down, and i had a perfect moment. one of those natural highs where your chest feels like it’s expanding and your inability to stop smiling makes you light headed.
so, you know, it was a pretty good day. hopefully i can assume an addition to that list that reads, “wants to see me again soon too.” we shall see.
[now hearing this: same as above.]
partypartypartypartyparty….
i am so excited about tonight. the ingredients are all there: a nice scandalous flier which apparently is causing some sort of buzz (multiple people have said things like, “i heard about this flier, can i see it?” to my housemates and i), invitations out to wonderful people from wide and varying social circles; mix in the excitement of the year winding down, then don’t forget the two kegs in the backyard and what i think amounted to almost two gross jello shots waiting in our refridgerator right now — prepared last night in a meth-lab-esque process in our kitchen by some very efficient robots…
i think it’s going to be a spectacular time. plus i have an interview this afternoon which is exciting as well. damn i love fridays like this where you’re just boiling over with energy and anticipation.
i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again: if you’re in the area and at all capable, i’d recommend you swing by for some revelry (crowd begins forming around 11).
[now hearing this: smashing pumpkins – “spacefuck”. in my head left over from the car-ride ipod.]
i got an email today from my video art teacher that said basically, “you missed a lot of class so your grade has been lowered to a C+”. my first reaction was, “oh shit, i better go to class tonight,” since this will have marked two whole weeks of skipping (4 sessions) in a row. but then i thought, “hey wait, if i can miss like 5 or 6 classes and be at a C+ level, can i miss two more and be at a flat C level? because i think i’d be okay with that.”
so i sent her back a polite email thanking her for the info and asking how exactly the grade works out, because if attendance is only a minor factor then i can find much better things to do on tuesday and thursday evenings and just turn in a nice final project and ride out the rest of the year at C+. i mean, it’s an art class, i somehow don’t see the letter i get when it’s all said and done really tarnishing my future, exactly.
in other news, i think for the first time ever a sexy-girl-i-spend-all-class-covertly-checking-out may be converted to a sexy-girl-i-have-actually-talked-to-and-hung-out-with, which is totally unheard of in my life. a nice thing to sneak in right before i check out of this place though, especially if she is as cool as she seems. even more so if something comes of it, because new friends are exciting.
[now hearing this: more from cursive’s the ugly organ while i get even more pumped up for the show next friday. rockrockrockrock.]
i was driving in to work today in an alright mood; listening to some tracks i downloaded from the new cursive cd courtesy of my ipod. i can’t wait for that show next weekend, hot damn it’s going to swing.
not the point though. i stopped at a stop light that happened to be next to my favorite — that is to say, cheapest — gas station on the route to the office, intersection of crenshaw and jefferson, and looked up at the sign. unleaded regular for $1.999 per gallon! everything’s going to be okay everybody, gas prices in LA have come back under a 2 dollars in at least one location. i actually yelled ‘alright!’ out loud, meaning either i am very sad or just very broke. if only you could see the dance i’m doing right now you’d know which one it wasn’t.
have you watched die hard lately by the way? that movie is spectacular. every line the main characters say is practically a quotable one-liner. i briefly wrestled with the idea that if that movie were to come out now i would lump it in with a vin diesel movie and think it was garbage, and the only reason i like it so much is because it’s a classic in my frame of reference. i quickly put that down though when bruce willis was crawling through a ventilation shaft and said, “now i know what a TV dinner feels like.” eat that shit, triple-X. or should i say, “eat me harvey.” (another quotation.)
[now hearing this: an oddly quiet office.]
i don’t see how i can be expected to go to class at 6pm with three weeks left of school, after daylight savings time which means the sunset gets nice and rosy and doesn’t happen until after 7, when i could just be ordering pizzas and hanging out on my front porch with my roommates throwing the little fruit things off the tree in our front yard over the house and trying to hit the backyard neighbor’s car. that’s just not going to happen.
my rationale as usual is that i am just feeling too good right now to go and spoil it for something that doesn’t even come with any long term benefits to me. if it were something i could at least convince myself was ‘good for me’ i might be able to buckle down. but it isn’t. oh tragedy.
and in all seriousness i think pepperoni pizza and die hard will do me a far greater good.
out, out, out. i spent my whole weekend doing things and had a great time. out thursday night with my marketing friends after our huge semester-long project wrapped up, out friday night to visit my great business school buddy who i don’t see enough of anymore, and out saturday night to celebrate the birthday of a very dear friend. we even squeezed in a barbeque saturday afternoon which was excellent as well. i think the only parts that weren’t fun were when i was putting my foot in my mouth either accidentally or intoxicatedly, but i guess that will happen from time to time. i just really hate to mess things up right when they’re starting to go really well.
job thing is looking better, i have a competing interview to make me feel valuable. school is dwindling and with only three weeks of regular class left i find it hard to see the point of doing my art project even though i know i probably can’t put it off any longer than the two weeks my treatment is already overdue. somehow i’m mustering up the courage not to be worried though.
oh, and we’re having a party next friday which should be fun. when we have parties i get to see all my friends at once and it’s fabulous. i even made a little flier to hand out and send around. consider yourself invited.
the song of the week by the way is not from a cd i bought and really liked or a song that really describes how i’m feeling or anything. it’s just something that came on my ipod this week and made me smile, ironically. love those smoking popes.
[now hearing this: simpsons theme song.]
