Author: briancollapsing

“a shattered nation longs to care about stupid bullshit again”… wow. the onion is doing a superb job of remaining clever and tuned in to the situation without crossing the line and being tasteless. i’m so proud of them. what a great thing.

on a similar note, i’ve seenthe daily show a few times this week, and i wasn’t quite as impressed. at least last night, it seemed like they were holding back. maybe it was just a rough night, because normally that’s the funniest thing on tv (not counting family guy night).

i’ve also made a new friend called morpheus. no, i don’t mean the guy from the matrix or even the dream king, the sandman, from the outstanding comic book series. i mean the file-sharing agent that lets me download music videos and not have to watch any mtv hoping to catch some guilty pleasures. it’s like napster, only better. rock and roll.

ps–i still don’t advocate downloading instead of supporting music, fear not. as a matter of fact, the list of cd’s i’m trying to resist buying until i can afford it is dangerously and temptingly long, and i don’t stand much of a chance.

this morning i was riding the seniorita (my skateboard) to class with shannon, and as we rounded a corner there were another guy on a skateboard and a girl on a bike heading right at us. she veered right and narrowly missed ramming right into the guy, whereas i veered left toward the curb, which unfortunately was the same way bike girl decided to go. since i was leaning to try to turn, her front tire basically hit me in the shins and sent me flat on my ass in a sort of twisting fall over the curb onto the sidewalk. it didn’t hurt so much because i’ve learned over many falls how to do it right, but it sure was funny. the girl apologized profusely and was very concerned that i was hurt. i assured her i was fine and there were no hard feelings, and continued laughing. it was a fun start to the day and further proof that i should be a stuntman if business school doesn’t work out for me.

and you laugh as if that’s not something i’ve seriously considered on multiple occasions.

finance class today furthered my opinion that there’s no reason to go to that class, ever. actions will be taken. it was especially no good because awful classes are a lot more awful when my partner in cynicism doesn’t show up to complain with me. no spencer equals no fun. but at least i came home to my new dj qbert cd. thank you, cheap-cds. these are some fat beats.

aaaah, today. what happened today? i didn’t have to give a presentation because we ran out of class time, i had an inexplicable, bright little moment where i was pretty happy which was later snuffed out by marketing class… but really, nothing has happened today.

last night was good though. i gave mike his birthday present. a tomato rug. that’s right, it’s a rug shaped like a tomato. if you’re not laughing, then either you just don’t appreciate fine home furnishings, or you don’t know the story of why i bought it for him. and i don’t feel like explaining. perhaps more amusing, dom gave dustin a fishing hat that comes equipped with a business-card-sized LCD screen into which you can program scrolling messages. that’s right, it really exists. so he walked around with a message proclaiming “it’s my birthday!!!” (followed by three hearts) for a while before he took it off. now that was a great gift idea. also, we played with my new water balloon slingshot, off our balcony. it’s juvenile, agreed, but so much fun! and later i hung out with this very neat girl that i used to go out with. it was a fine evening.

we’ll see what i can manage tonight. a free dinner, for starters. being friends with people who like to cook is totally the way to go.

today is my two roommates’ birthday. happy birthday mike and dustin! now you’re old, like me!

i was having such a good day today, i decided not to go to my finance class, which of course only makes the day better. it started because my computer class is cancelled this week, and that’s normally a three hour class. so i went to my first class, only an hour, which is always fine. then i went to the lab where we normally have class to do my project which is due next week in class. and it only took me about 2 hours to do, and it turned out great! (maybe i’ll post it to show off next week). so i got a cheeseburger and came back here instead of going to finance because i was in such a good mood, it made the most sense.

and oh yes, i must tell you about the dj qbert show last night. MY GOD, it blew my mind. i can’t express or describe the level of skill that must go into doing what that man did. there were a few opening dj’s who already had me impressed and gasping, but when qbert came out (in crutches no less — he’s having surgery on his leg this week and did the routine standing on one leg, as if i wasn’t impressed enough) he put on a show that was easily the most impressive and technical musical performance i’ve ever seen. of course, it’s just sounds, he doesn’t have to write lyrics, so he doesn’t compete with great songwriters, but as far as mastering a craft, that guy gets top honors in my book. he’s so insanely fast and intricate it’s unbelievable. we decided he’s not so much talented as a genetic anomaly for being able to do what he does. apparently, he was forced into retirement in 1995 from the world scratching competition for “monopolizing the first place spot”. oh my god. if you get a chance, check the guy out. and buy his cd, he’s got some fat beats.

the only thing i didn’t like was the weird movie/cartoon/video they showed between sets. it was basically the extended music video to qbert’s whole album, but it’s this really weird, trippy, scary acid-induced barrage of bizarre anime-inspired imagery fit loosely around the story of this dj/dentist character (i’m not making this up) who has to travel across the galaxy and fight enemies to teach the people of the world the art of dj-ing and also give them dental examinations. it’s funny in retrospect, but it frightened me, to be honest. my roommate thought it was great though, and is trying to get it on video. but what can i really say about that.

wait until you hear about what i got him for his birthday though. heh heh heh. i’ll tell you tomorrow after i give it to him tonight.

the kenna video is gone and the raddest video ever is up in it’s place. “coffee and tv”, by blur. you should have already clicked there and stopped reading this.

some days, i feel just like that little milk carton.

but not today! QBERT!

hope that if you wanted to download the second coolest video ever made, you did it already, because i’ll be taking it off later today. and i think i’ll be putting up the coolest video ever in it’s place for a while, because if you haven’t seen that than you haven’t really seen anything, as far as i’m concerned.

last night there was a great big double birthday party here for mike and dustin (oct. 1st… send presents while you still can), and a tidy crowd of cohorts showed up to celebrate their aging process in the natural way: intoxication. it was a pretty fun time though, despite the complaints of some that it was a, to use their delicate phrasing, “sausage fest”. the friends we don’t see often enough came over and hung out and i got to talk to them, which is good, and some people i’d never really talked to before came too, which was extra fun . if everyone had done what i’d done they would have had nothing to complain about either, because 80% of the girls that showed up did so from my invitation. i’m a good party friend.

naturally, the pretty girl i had been talking to turns out to have a boyfriend. not to sound like a bad guy, that doesn’t mean it was a waste of time. i’d like to think of myself as above the level where in any given social situation my only use for females is as potential conquests or even girlfriends. i have no problem with making acquaintences even if there’s no space for romanic development. i know few enough people at this school, any development is good, really. it’s just too bad. she was awfully cute.

tonight, we qbert. oh man…. oh man.

last night i went to california pizza kitchen, and i got pizza with POTATOES on it. not whole ones, little slices that had been marinated in some delicious stuff apparently, because the pizza (which also had chicken) was fantastic. mmm, that was a fine meal. get the rosemary chicken potato pizza someday if you can. yum. after that we were just here at the apartment though, so nothing that noteworthy happened.

today i had to take city busses to the optometrist to get some new contact lenses, and i had to wait 45 minutes between busses for the transfer i had to make to get there. damn this poor-public-transportation-having city of los angeles, which is also conveniently so spread out it takes hours to get anywhere by the busses they do have. the whole outing took over four hours. yeah, good times, huh?

sometimes i really really would like to have a car, and today was one of those times.

you know now that i think about it, my job is pretty important. before me are vast expanses of information. records of our government’s inner workings in the smallest detail, and seemingly insignificant events are all chronicled and kept in a long row of filing cabinets, where every tiny envelope holds a miniturized version of a piece of history. but all the information in the world means nothing if you can’t find what you need when you need it; you have a jumbled, useless mass of facts that stretches on in an endless maze of microfiche that only taunts you with the fact that the topological map of tyron, nebraska that you so desperately need is in there somewhere, you just don’t know where. so here i am, creating order out of disorder — one of man’s oldest and noblest goals. in making the sea of information safe for the layman to navigate, piece by piece, i am bringing my fellow students closer to the keys they need to unlock the door to knowledge, thereby gaining enlightenment and making the world a better, happier, place.

i have to say, it feels good.

hahaha.

okay that was all bullshit, i just thought it would be funny to romanticize my stupid boring job. work sucked. weekend, commence!

no more entry ways? oh no! well, it’s not an emergency or anything. but i just want scott to know that i’ll miss him. and i expect to be notified if it comes back or is reborn in a new form (with a new URL). just in case, i won’t be taking the link down anytime soon.

it’s friday. outstanding. it’s not so exciting that i still have to go to work at 2 before i’m free, but it’s good to know i’m close. and this weekend should be fun too. party tomorrow night for two of my roommates birthdays (both on monday, what are the odds?), after a fun-filled trip to the eye doctor. and dj q-bert and kid koala on sunday night. huge. i’m looking forward to it all. if only the three hours of work between me and the weekend could be disposed of somehow other than actually living through them.

oh, and last night i saw almost famous finally. i’d heard a lot of great things about it, and some people seem to love it. those people must be all about classic rock lifestyle or something, because although i liked the movie, i wouldn’t give it a rave review to anyone who asked. i’m pretty sure it was fine to watch, but not so great that i’d ever feel the need to watch it again. and for a movie to be really good i have to want to watch it more than just once. or at least come out the first time not able to stop thinking about how i liked it so much. but it wasn’t a bad two hours on a thursday night at least.

my favorite part was the desk clerk at one of the hotels telling the kid, “your mom really freaked me out. seriously.”

with a completely straight and serious face. hahaha. that’s great.

well apparently the terrible show on last night instead of the family guy was love cruise, not temptation island. but how could i have known.

i got out early from visual culture today (group project plus time to work during class equals everyone makes sure they know what they have to do and we all leave. oh, and i’m in a group with the heartbreakingly beautiful girl from the other day, who is also pretty bright it would seem. so at least now she hopefully knows my name, although probably has no idea the incapacitating crush i have on her), so i went to the bookstore to buy a book to follow good omens. then i sat outside the building of my next class in the shade on a mild, breezy, and wonderful afternoon and read good omens for a while, which i absolutely adore. it’s so enjoybable to read, and it’s so funny and quirky. not always in a laugh out loud way — though it’s sometimes that too — but usually in an “oh my, that was really clever” way, or that way that you smile inwardly because you get it and appreciate it. and there was a really spectacular line in it from what i read this afternoon that went something like, “she was beautiful, but she was beautiful in the way a forest fire was beautiful; something to be admired from a distance, not up close”. i thought that was such a cool description of this girl, not because she wasn’t beautiful up close, but because she was just so beautiful (and dangerous, in the case of this character) that you shouldn’t or couldn’t get close. and i think it hit me extra hard because ms. heartbreaker has this amazing maroon-red hair. ouch.

see, i can’t even keep my mind on books for very long, and i’m a reputed bookworm.