last night i went home even though some of my coolest friends wanted me to go out and party with them. i felt awful, i just had to be home. sometimes people have strange effects on you that you can’t control and you wish they didn’t. but they do, even still. they always do. so you shrivel and crawl home and recuperate and upload shiner songs to your ipod, because when they sing “and the egg starts spinning…” you like to sing along.

today i woke up and thought the crappiness would carry over, but i got a message last night that our department was having breakfast at jerry’s famous deli and i was invited. i was worried before i left that i’d be grumpy and it would be unpleasant, but then i started thinking, “i really ought to make these people feel like i’m part of their group so they’ll hire me when i graduate.”

and pretty much as soon as i walked in i felt better because i actually really like all the people i work with, and the french toast i got was good (and free). plus one of the girls announced to the group she was pregnant, and i was there. i feel special because of that somehow. then throughout the day the account supervisor said several times that i should hurry up and graduate and then replied to an email i sent her with “you are awesome.” these are good signs.

tonight i’m getting very drunk and intend to make the metal sign at every opportunity. i love my friends. it’s going to be a lot of fun. i feel much better today.

[now hearing this: well, me about to walk out the door and go home. probably some hum in the car though.]