did you know that golf has an official mascot? he’s a big goofy golfball with arms and legs, wearing green plaid pants and a green plaid golfing hat, and sporting some serious scottish mustache/eyebrow action. his name is billy mcgolf (i’m telling you, that golfy mcgolf joke would have been more fun), and he’s supposed to be helping kids get more interested in the game at a younger age.

the only problem is if you go to the website, they don’t play up the fun aspect of the game at all. nevermind that you’re whacking the hell out of a little ball: the flash intro has slogan’s like “it’s fun to play by the rules” sliding across the screen, along with words like “integrity” and “etiquette” . . . what the hell is that? what kid, if he even knows what those are yet, is going to be drawn to a game where the selling point is being polite? or that brags about how fun it is to play by the rules? it’s like they want kids to start being boring old men before they’ve even started growing facial hair (to look just like their hero, billy mcgolf!).

they also have a billy mcgolf version of whack-a-mole, and golf tips for kids, written very accessibly for the age group, with phrases like “i’ve challenged myself to be sportsmanlike and courteous…”

man, that sounds fun.

[now hearing this: canned sounds of kids going “yaaaaay!” on the billy mcgolf site…both creepy and funny.]