pet peeve of the day: people who talk into their cell phones like walkie talkies, alternating between holding it in front of their mouth to talk and then touching it to their ears to listen, especially when driving.

although this drives me up the fucking wall, i am aware that this is partly irrational, because it really only affects me in a minor way, and only if that person is talking extra loudly as a result of their habit. but for some reason it goes way beyond that for me, to the point where whenever i see anyone doing this i cringe and judge the person in question as a total douchebag.

where does this hostility come from? what am i assuming about these people based on this habit that instills me with such skin-crawling annoyance?

i think it’s partly that i have no idea WHY someone would use their phone in this way, as if cellular device designers are incapable of knowing how to make a microphone that can actually pick up your voice while the handset is held to your ear as it should be. this isn’t mayberry, your phone doesn’t need a separate mouthpiece and earphone, i’m fairly sure motorola and samsung have some clue what they’re doing people. if you can believe it, this drives me even MORE crazy than the weird bluetooth/star-trek people, or the ones with wires in their ears that insist on holding the little mic up to their mouths, thus defeating the purpose of the ‘hands free’ earpiece. (but i digress…)

the second part i think is more assumptive regarding the character of the people i’ve seen most often doing this, and what their phone usage tells me about them. in my mind, holding the phone out in front of your mouth, earpiece miles from your face, screams “i am talking, and you are going to listen to me, and i don’t care what you say”, with only cursory returns of the phone back to the ear to make SURE that the person on the other end heard what you’re saying and to see how they react. it seems so self-centered and despicable, and it falls so nicely in with stereotypes i have for the people i see doing this most: namely overdressed hollywood girls in huge overpriced SUV’s, middle-aged businessguy tools driving luxury cars, or blinged-out dudes with XXL clothes that wear sunglasses indoors. the common denominator, to me, is the ‘look at me (and also LISTEN to me), goddammit’ attitude that is utterly counter to everything that i appreciate in a person. please, for the love of god, hold the phone like a real person and have a conversation like a human being.

……

wow, that went on even longer than i thought…hadn’t been writing enough lately, so i decided to take a mental rant i went off on earlier today in the car and transcribe it here for fun. sorry if you’re one of these people and you’re afraid of me now, and please do explain yourself in the comments so i can calm my rage.