alright, it’s obvious to me that i’ve arrived at a point in the life of this webpage where it’s not getting the attention it used to. no, i’m not quitting and/or asking for sappy farewells. i like this and i don’t want to stop.

i do realize though what the issue is. there’s a pretty close correlation between happy/busy periods and blog neglect. when i’ve got lots to do, i don’t make time to write. and when i’m having a great day or feeling fine, i don’t feel the need to write. maybe this is all well and good and i should be glad for those times and enjoy them for what they are, and then return on those days of defeat to dump my sourness or loneliness or idle musings on this thing.

that doesn’t seem fair though. people read this and don’t get the complete picture of a person they might want. my mom even reads this sometimes; maybe she suspects i’m this world-weary eccentric who bounces between complaining about not having a girl and talking about books and video games (i’m not mom–there’s a whole WORLD of things you don’t know about…heh heh).

and as far as personal reasons for writing this, sure half of it is getting things off my chest. i could never keep a personal private journal because it seems pointless to me if no one ever gets to see it — i wouldn’t find it worthwhile. i do recognize the value in writing out your thoughts though to help you understand and cope with things better, and having it semi-public gives that extra little motivation to be articulate and entertaining at the same time that makes it more fun than a little notebook with hearts drawn on the front with a ballpoint.

the other half though should ideally be to have a sort of record of myself to reflect on, right? i could look back to the week of a big upset and reflect on how things have gone since then. but it’s going to be a poor timeline if it’s only a spiked record of days where i felt alone, finished a concert/movie/game/book, noticed something funny while walking driving or taking public transportation, or had to rant one more time about not liking my classes. that’s a pretty weakly developed character, and i’d prefer to think i’m a multidimensional guy. that’s why i can’t let myself neglect this just because this week i’m feeling tip top.

of course now i’ve gone on long enough to call it a day. but don’t worry about me: i’m feeling tip top.

[now hearing this: the20goto10 – demo from their (his?) website, because i happen to be loving all things post-impossibles so far. (can’t wait for slow reader at chain reaction next month — they’re opening for piebald! what a great idea.]