two things i lack pretty much without fail: patriotism/nationalism for one, and its watered down substitute, loyalty to a local sports team for another. i’m sure i could dig up lots of scholarly essays on counties’ substitution for fanatic soccer-team devotion after the general decrease in international warfare, but i’m assuming the majority of readers get it without my having to find essays in my support.

anyway, the lakers are again plowing through the nba finals, and i cannot possibly muster up a single ounce of energy for caring. people left and right talking about this game, that shot, kobe this, shaq that . . . i just find it all so boring and silly. grown men that play a sport for a living and make more in a year than i’ll probably ever make in a decade is just kind of sad to me. more sad the more i think about it. but then i think of all the joy those big sweaty men bring to so many middle-aged guys with nothing better to care about, and . . . wait, i’m still sad.

and as far as patriotism, i’m only especially glad to be an american when it results in three day weekends. memorial day, to honor those who have fallen in war to protect our freedom, and if you’re me, to barbeque beef and enjoy a book and not go to work. also, to make another trip to cold stone creamery (cold stone combo #2: sweet cream ice cream w/ twix bar and caramel. holy dairy dessert, that was a delicious combination).

fantastic.

[now hearing this: back to the future on tbs. even fantasticker.]