this one’s especially for dominic.

i’m sure you’ve all seen those annoying (well, i think they’re annoying. you may think they’re a perfectly appropriate patriotic gesture and not in any way tacky, ugly, or embarrassing) car-window-mounted american flags. from my counts, the phenomenon of flying flags, american or otherwise, in this fashion is a very recent one. i think it looks awful, but that’s not the point here. neither is me going on about the merits (or lack thereof) of showing your undying support of all things american by flying one of these wal-mart monstrosities.

but i’ll get to my point. my first observance of this style of flag-flying was this summer, when a similar bout of flag-flying occurred during and after the LA lakers played in and won the NBA finals. they were everywhere for a month or so. everyone was so proud of those little basketball guys and naturally wanted to show the world — or at least everyone else on the freeway. my summer roommate and now best buddy dominic and i thought from the start this was stupid, and since these laker flags are either yellow or purple, they’re even uglier than the american flags you see now. so we always laughed at these people, especially those excited enough to fly one on both sides of the car for twice the lakers enthusiasm.

but a month after the finals, we still saw a fair amount of these flags. the last game was won in mid-june and they were prevalent well into july, even early august — terribly lame. it became the mission of dominic and i to be the last one of the two of us to see one of these laker flags, and have had the privilege of seeing the car that must be owned by the lamest person in los angeles. i had him for a long time with a car somtime near mid-august, but then by some freak chance, right when we were talking about how it was all over, he saw one during the conversation, and reclaimed the title. i think this was either at the very end of august or maybe even september or october. who’s to really know. either way, i knew he had probably won the battle.

but oh no. saturday night, NOVEMBER TENTH, 2001, on the 110 north freeway on the way to see spike and mike’s animation festival, from the backseat of spencer’s roommate max’s SUV (i had three witnesses), i saw a car with a laker’s flag flying from the driver’s side window. it was a feeling of triumph i am rarely privileged to know. i now, with almost utter certainty, have seen the car of the lamest man in los angeles! take that, dominic! (enter queen music) no time for losers, because i am the champion . . . of the world (exit queen music). thank you.