a couple weeks ago a visionary anime director, satoshi kon, passed away. he died at a young age (47), and as the creator of some of my favorite animated works out of japan — paprika, perfect blue, and the series paranoia agent (pictured above) — i was pretty shocked and saddened that his talents would no longer be around.

as an interesting side effect of the internet age, a lengthy good-bye letter he had written shortly before his death was soon posted to his blog, and quickly translated into english.

I haven’t been idly waiting for death, even now I’m thinking with my weak brain of ways to let the work live even after I am gone. But they are all shallow ideas. When I told Maruyama-san [ed: founder of Madhouse productions] about my concerns about “Dreaming Machine”, he just said “Don’t worry. We’ll figure out something, so don’t worry.”

I wept.

it’s very long, and very personal, but very touching.

one might imagine kon’s biggest concern, when seeing his life about to be cut short, would be the work he’s leaving unfinished. that’s what we’d expect from him as a creator, and selfishly, our concern as fans. and though he does address it, the bulk of the letter describes his wishes to see family and friends before the end, and gratitude to those who supported him along the way.

a sad reminder of the citizen kane variety that for all the creative success, what it really comes down to in the end is the happiness we find with other people. working hard is worthwhile. making wonderful things is commendable. but hopefully if you do it right, none of that should mean sacrificing a connection with the great people in your life.

i love TV. well, sort of. i am a huge fan of certain things on television, and i loathe a lot of the rest. but even then, there is enough quality television from the last 10 years to keep me well provided with good shows (in fact, with the advent of tv on dvd and netflix streaming, there’s almost too much — a topic i’ve been kicking around for an article over here for a while now).

however, i also have a very controlled relationship with tv. if i watch more than a couple hours of it, especially at once, i feel restless and jumpy. i imagined this was because i think of myself as smart and cultured, and so i had an internal conscience that said, ‘okay, that was fun, now go read a book or something’. turns out via this article in psychology today, ‘the case(s) against television’, my pretentiousness might not be to blame, but in fact some subconscious brain workings:

“Researchers have found a direct correlation between the amount of time someone spends in front of the television and that person’s irritability. In the short-term, TV shows provide an escape from everyday trials, but over the long-term such escapism prevents the mind from engaging in much-needed reflection.

“The fascination that seems to be important in the recovery of attention is nothing like what happens on television,” Kaplan says.”

though we all list television as something we do to relax, it turns out it’s not quite the mental relaxation we really need. and yet it feels so good… tricky television.

“Frey’s research found a strong correlation between watching TV and lower levels of happiness (and, interestingly, a link between reading newspapers and higher life satisfaction). Frey ponders the potential causality:

One possible and reasonable answer is that the heavy TV watchers are subject to a self-control problem: they would like to spend less time in front of the TV but are unable to do so in a consistent and enduring way.”

and so, my gratitude that some part of me, whether my self-image or my subconscious, keeps me from a acting like an addict despite an endless supply of stimulation at my finger-tips. i bet there are lots who aren’t so lucky. even worse, i bet lots of them are addicted to shows with bad or non-existent writing (shudder).

[side note: one of the reasons i was drawn to this article is because it also references the writings of david foster wallace (on tv addiction), and my man-crush on him is undeniable.]

today i saw a photo of a times square billboard advertising foursquare, and i couldn’t help but laugh at the typical moment where big brands jump on the new technology train. not that it’s a bad idea to give coupons to people that ‘check in’ as being at your store (a bit rude to people without foursquare accounts, maybe — are their paper versions available at checkout?). i’m just fascinated by people’s fascination with this new ‘checking in’ thing.

the technology is cool, and if you’re a big urban adventurer, i could see the novelty in getting points for going to lots of bars and restaurants. in fact, the one time i fully support the use of foursquare is when i go somewhere new and it’s either really great, really bad, or just really novel. i can easily fire a quick link to the name and mapped location and just let everyone know, ‘hey, this place is great, check it out!’, or ‘hey, stay away!’ in a few button presses, where i might forget to tell them in our next conversation, or not feel like writing a full review on my own blog or something (which no one reads anyway). if yelp’s iphone app were better, i’d probably use them instead, because at least they link to real reviews.

otherwise, it seems like a game where you’re rewarded for behaving compulsively, and that’s a game i don’t really want to play. there are probably some great uses for this beyond my current experience — i love the idea of gps scavenger hunts, the nike+ running trackers are genius — but for now it seems like an idea without a benefit. a hat for fruit, if you will. especially with facebook getting into the race, they better hurry up and figure out what exactly they offer the world, or this billboard is going to seem like a hilarious waste of money in a few years when they merge with myspace.

“With life spans stretching into the ninth decade, is it better for young people to experiment in their 20s before making choices they’ll have to live with for more than half a century? Or is adulthood now so malleable, with marriage and employment options constantly being reassessed, that young people would be better off just getting started on something, or else they’ll never catch up, consigned to remain always a few steps behind the early bloomers? Is emerging adulthood a rich and varied period for self-discovery, as Arnett says it is? Or is it just another term for self-indulgence?” — NY Times, “What Is It About 20-Somethings”

I couldn’t help but be terribly disappointed in this article, mainly because these big, profound, philosophical questions about the nature of growing up that it asks on page 2 get almost no resolution by page 10. The end takeaway seems to be, “Some people think yes, some people think no.” I would also venture to guess that people past their 20’s think “No, these kids need to grow up,” and those in or before their 20’s think, “Yes, I would love more time to be a freewheeling half-adult! Thanks, older generation, for supporting my delaying of responsibility!”

It’s extra funny when you pair this thought with another common understanding: ‘kids getting older younger’. By 5 or 6 kids are done with toys that use imagination, already graduated to computers and video games and already wanting to act, talk, and dress like the pre-teens a few years older than them. It’s as if everyone who isn’t adolescent yet can’t wait to get there, and once they’re there, they want to hang onto it for 20 whole years.

What’s wrong with these people? Adolescence was terrible! Awkward, confusing, often lonely, frequently boring — or was that just for me?

Maybe we’ve reached the real problem; America has made being an adolescent too sweet a deal. They’re protected from any kind of real failure or pain or even hurt feelings, and so who wouldn’t want to stay in that stage forever? Life without consequences must be great. And I just missed it by a few years. Damn.