two.points.collapsing

finished another book this weekend. well, it was a play, so i guess that’s not that difficult. and of course it wasn’t difficult because it was really enjoyable. nice and existentialist and witty at the same time, two things close to my heart. i would recommend picking it up.

last night i turned on mtv2 while i was grabbing a snack, and jimmy eat world was on. but not even a video by them. it was interviews and live footage and stuff. half of it was the same stuff you can download from their website with the enhanced bleed american stuff, but some of it was clips i hadn’t seen before. it was very exciting to me. but that could be because i am very dull in my own right.

i started good omens which is very hitchhikers’ guide and offbeat and funny, so that was how i spent my night last night. that, and listening to dj q-bert and kid koala in preparation for my first turntablist concert coming up this weekend. i’m so hip-hop. actually, i’m looking forward to it a lot, because i’ve never been to something like this before, for one. and also because i plan on dropping like five hits of ecstasy and eating some glowsticks, which should also be fun. my only worry is that my pants aren’t obscenely baggy enough.

don’t worry mom, the part about the drugs was a joke. i’m all about the music. and maybe the fly honeys, but that’s all.

mondays. who needs ’em. must learn about lingo scripting!

i decided to put up a zipped .mpg file of that video i’ve been talking about so in case you haven’t caught it on mtv2, or don’t have mtv2, and want to see it, you can get it from me, the raving flatterer. it’s at the top of the sidebar (hell bent), and it’ll only be there for a week or so. it’s big though, so if you have a modem be prepared to wait, or maybe try catching it on tv. now i’ll shut up about it. well, almost.

this is actually only the second best music video i’ve seen in my lifetime. the first is undoubtedly the video for “coffee and tv” by blur. and i don’t know how anyone who’s seen thise video could disagree. it’s the best thing ever. i might put that one up for a while after i take this one down, just so more people can behold the glory. but anyway, check it out. and that’s all for now.

when i saw requiem for a dream way back when it was in theatrical release, i left the theatre saying i really didn’t like it, because all the graphic and disturbing things in that movie went a little farther than necessary. it was just too much, i thought, and told everyone who asked that that was what i thought of it. my roommate and a lot of other people really liked it though, said it was great. mike bought the dvd recently and we watched it last night, and i figured i owed it another chance so i could either reconsider or solidify my earlier opinion. well whereas the first time i saw it, only the unsettling and shocking things stuck with me, the second viewing was totally the opposite. i think since i was prepared for the upsetting parts this time through, i could focus more on the really amazing things about the movie. it’s shot beautifully, and is really a breathtaking film visually. the music is unbelievable and utterly heartbreaking. and the stories of addiction, to whatever your fix may be, made me want to cry. so i’ve officially gone 180 degrees on this one from thinking it was an unnecessary film to thinking it is a wonderful film. now i have to go back and tell everyone who i tried to convince it wasn’t that great that i was just a big wimp the first time i saw it and couldn’t deal with the “gross parts”. it’s embarrassing, really.

this guy amazes me. 100 cover songs in 100 days? and that’s in addition to playing shows in a touring rock band too? i think this man is my hero.

and i think i could use a bowl of cereal.

tonight was a trip to canter’s deli. it’s a comfortable place, and the sandwiches were nice and thick. little bit expensive though. i liked being there more than i liked eating there, and i sadly didn’t have the funds to buy dessert (they had a TON of excellent-pastries; the place is also a bakery), so it wasn’t the optimal dining experience, but it was enjoyable.

caught that wonderful kenna video on mtv2 today, and i was watching it with dom and mike, and we were all silent, watching this video. that’s how i know it’s good; it shuts us up. i know that personally, i’m extrememly cynical and can’t really see or do anything without remarking on it. it’s bordering on compulsive. but this, i just sit and stare, entranced. that’s a pretty impressive thing to do and i realize and appreciate that feat. if only more things could be good enough to sit me down, shut me up, and truly move me, maybe i’d have no reason to be so critical of the world. or to reword, maybe since i am so critical — which isn’t necessarily bad — it’s easier to recognize what’s honestly good by the mere fact that i’m helpless against it. i want more things to level me.

i read act one of rosencrantz and guildenstern are dead today, and it’s good. if you’ve read waiting for godot, you’ve basically read this. not that that’s bad; godot is one of my favorite non-shakespearean plays (along with death of a salesman). and i like this one too. maybe i’ll finish it tonight if i don’t get too restless to read.

i know, you really want to keep track of my progress. thank you for caring.

if you go to denny’s anytime soon, watch out for the chicken parmesan sandwich. it may sound like a good idea, but it’s just a ruse. actually, why do i even go to denny’s? every time i go, i leave with a heavy, unpleasant, “i shouldn’t have eaten that” feeling. and yet i inevitably return at some point because of the ever-present draw of mozzarella sticks; it’s a weakness i’ll never live down. they’re just so tasty!

(this is where i break down sobbing).

something else about last night at denny’s made me curious too. when we came in, there was a pair of police officers having their dinner in one booth. that was fine, because police officers have to eat sometime. denny’s is an okay place to do it, i guess. but then they finished and left midway through our meal, and probably less than five minutes later, a new pair of officers came in and started eating dinner. my interest wasn’t that two pairs of policemen had alternate dinner shifts, but that they both decided to eat at the same empty, low quality restaurant. maybe denny’s is the official dinner break of the LAPD? do they give discounts to crime fighters? does this denny’s have an optimal strategic location in case some emergency arises mid-moons-over-my-hammy? i really should have just asked and saved myself this mental frustration, i know.

the party last night was fun, but not spectacular. the memorable part was a few of us talking about the war-tidings and the possibility of chemical or biological warfare while we’re in the nice safe area of (gulp) los angeles, and how it’s not entirely impossible that we could all die of some awful disease in the next year. how about that. spencer (who’d had a healthy amount of what they call “death punch”, the contents which a non-drinker like me can’t really be called on to describe) said he had a flash forward — like a flashback, but opposite, he says — of his own death and that it really freaked him out. he wouldn’t stop talking about it, it was weird. he’s the kind of guy who makes a lot of jokes about wanting to die instead of sit through our finance class, so it was kind of funny.

my books came today too! thank god. i’ll tell you how they are once i dive in. plus, the coolass batman poster by dave mckean, which is currently being sat on by some pillows in an attempt to get it less curled prior to hanging. and it’s friday! three hours of library filing this afternoon and the week is history. marvelous.

today me and a few of my business school friends got together to work on our presentation for the business school’s case study competition. the presentation is tomorrow, we got the information tuesday and the questions last night. so we worked on it for a few hours and had some pretty good ideas and it was looking like we were really together. then one of the guys, or group’s contact person, got an email from the people running the whole thing, saying our presentation time had been moved from 1:30 to 2:45 tomorrow afternoon. this time slot, in the middle of classes or work for three out of four of us, combined with the fact that we’re a group of four white guys who didn’t think the school would pick to represent them at the international competition in Austin even if we were the best (a sad consideration but one i can’t say i don’t give some value to), made us all not feel like doing it. so we decided not to, and we’re quitting. hold back the comments on the laziness of our generation, we might go for it next year when we’ve had some more useful classes, and anyway you can go to hell. we’re not lazy, we’re being efficient. there’s no reason to put a lot of work into this when there are other things we need to do if our hearts aren’t in it enough to do a good job. that’s just effective time management.

not that things aren’t weird anymore for me, but i think i’m together enough to blog regularly again, provided i have something to say. but the reason for my reservations so far this week is very simple and i don’t need to talk about it much here. it’s just that being single again after almost two years of a pretty amazing relationship, even if i initiated its specific endpoint, is a pretty substantial disruption. it was just time, i think. but she reads this, and i know she’ll see this, and she’s great, and i still think the world of her, and i hope she knows that. that’s all there is to say about the matter in this forum.

i’m going to a party soon. how about that? i never go to parties. but this should be all cool people, and not so much a college party as a bunch of fun and hilarious people having a good time together, minus all the negative stereotypes i think when i hear “party” come out of a college student’s mouth. should be fun. i’ll let you know.

good morning everyone.

i hope my books come today, or my poster, but other than that there’s not much to look forward to today. school and work, and then working on stuff for school.

still feeling weird, so excuse the brevity.

take it easy everybody.

i don’t know if anyone who reads this might also read you look good in black, but on his page there’s a link to a list of temporarily banned songs on all clear channel communications-owned radio stations that really blows my mind. some of them i can understand. maybe. but come on, who do they think they’re helping? i don’t listen to the radio so this doesn’t really affect me, but if i did, i’m pretty sure i wouldn’t want the station “protecting” me from hearing anything that might upset me. what a bizarre week.

sorry i didn’t post anything yet today, or really have anything to post now either. things are . . . things are strange and i don’t know what to say or do right now. no,i don’t mean in an america-is-going-to-war kind of way.

having a webpage tracker has strangely provided me with a lot of laughs. today someone visited my site by searching for “rubber points” on yahoo (i’m search result number 3), and another by searching for “estella warren cigars” on google (number 21). it’s so weird, you would think the title would throw people off the trail. i’m sure once they got here they were disappointed. but they’re not as cool as whoever is reading this part here, right now.

i just realized that by typing those exact words that were searched for, i’m only furthering the chances that these random web travelers will end up here. i’m so devious.

the radio show tonight was decent. my interns are pretty cool and the music we played was pretty good. i don’t think anyone listened though. curse you, internet radio.

what else about today? i screwed up a finance quiz. i didn’t eat anything all day until almost 6pm, and it strangely didn’t affect me much. i finished american psycho, which was a joy to read even though some parts almost made me nauseous, which is impressive for literature, if you ask me. oddly, and to a different degree of course (i’ve never mutilated anyone and don’t see it happening in the future), i can kind of see where he’s coming from. sympathy, not empathy.

now if only barnobleses would get the new books here so i can start good omens. i may have to read comic books and magazines in the interim to keep from going mad for lack of reading material. but i won’t. go mad i mean. i’m the boy next door.

“though i can hide my cold gaze and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours and maybe you can even sense our lifestyles are probably comparable: i simply am not there.”