Category: Uncategorized

must…not…fall…asleep…

i’m sitting here at work having that old-school problem of wanting to doze off. this has never happened at work before, only in stupid economics classes. of course, there’s a perfectly good reason for it today: i only slept for about three hours last night, and unsoundly at that. thanks to never exactly making it home last night. ooo, scandal.

i mean, yesterday was just a big day all around. i started my real honest-to-goodness full-time year-round type job yesterday. 9 to 7 with an in-n-out lunch trip and a lot of congratulations and good-to-have-you’s from people around the office, which were all very encouraging. i think things are going to work out splendidly assuming i can make things work financially, which is only a matter of being smart, i think. but i feel really good about where i am and where it looks like it’s going to take me.

then there was the call that never came where i hoped to make evening plans, but then ended up coming, just later than i anticipated. this led to a trip out for some drinks which led to me returning home at 7:45 this morning — the time my alarm usually goes off — just in time to shower and go to work. and sure, despite the fact that more certainly could have been, i was sure ecstatic about what finally was. so staying up past 3am knowing full well i’d have to drive back to my house around 7, and now feeling like i can’t possibly stay awake until i will be getting off work tonight, are both well worth the momentous effort it’s taking not to pass out at my desk. because life isn’t about being productive every hour of every work day; it’s about seizing opportunities for victory and cherishing them while they last.

as soon as i rest up i’m gonna feel like a million buckszzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…

[now hearing this: people talking about me.]

when the parents are in town you don’t get to spend so much time wallowing at a computer. not that i ever really wallow, but you know what i mean. just been real busy.

busy graduating, that is! what an exciting weekend i’ve had. my god. friday it all ended. i’m not a college student anymore in any way. i’m all grows up and i’m all grows up and i’m all grows up. plus i got officially hired to my new job the day before that, so i’m really on my way now. i start my career on tuesday morning. with paychecks and trying to get promotions and all that. i’m so OLD!

i love it though, i really do. i’m excited; it’s like being on the end of a diving board and knowing you’re gonna do a badass flip any second now, for sure. and i will too, you just watch me.

before it all starts though we did have a most excellent sendoff lunch after the ceremonies friday afternoon. we had it catered by our favorite meaty eatery, bbq king, ordered some pizzas, a keg, and went to town. over 70 relatives and friends of the 9 graduates came by and we made them all eat heartily. everyone had a great time, the weather was great, and we got lots of compliments for putting on a great thing on our own. we impressed those families, let me tell you. i even made a nice lame speech and we took a bunch of cheesy group photos. as was necessary. best day in a long time.

my only regrets were that the food was about 45 minutes late, and not being able to do a cartwheel across the stage when going to receive my diploma on account of those stupid hats. ah well.

now the families are departing for homes and i’m getting ready to catch up on a lot of sleep. i didn’t think i missed that much but for some reason i am totally wiped out right now. perhaps it was just a big week and my body needs to retreat into dreamland to let itself recouperate; perhaps it was drinking too many beers in the afternoon sun then going out and drinking more until 3am last night. either way, time to veg out for a bit.

ps: if anyone feels congratulatory and wants to send fabulous graduation gifts, please email me and i will gladly forward my address. hugs and kisses also accepted.

[now hearing this: hey mercedes self-titled ep from way back.]

today on the way to work, i was driving through south central los angeles as usual, listening to my ipod as usual (through the car stereo, not headphones. don’t worry, i’m safe), and then i saw this guy flipping out on the opposite sidewalk. sort of jumping up and down and flailing around a little. now, i didn’t hear him so i can’t say for sure, but once i got closer and drove past him, i became almost certain that he was a 40-50 year old gray-haired black man having an argument with a telephone pole. honest to god, we was looking directly at it and very animatedly yelling. he was hopping, he was so mad. he even kicked it a few times, which i can only imagine made him madder — the telephone pole didn’t seem to back down even an inch.

i really love living in the city.

[now hearing this: gang starr mp3’s.]

i think i can calm down long enough to share some good news with everyone before the time has passed. it’s finally happened. i’ve taken my last exam of my last year of college. it’s done. no more schoolwork. for real. forever. that’s it. and i absolutely couldn’t be happier.

a good day all around really. a few hours of lunch/study date with that girl i’m still chasing, which was great and educational at the same time, somehow. it was a cute little scene, sitting against each other on a bench in the lunch area, looking over notes and talking about marginal costs and externalities. adorable, really. then i actually did well on the test and sailed the fuck out of that place for hopefully the last time ever. sayonora, marshall school of business! thank you for trying to steal my soul and FAILING! i’m not the cold homogenous networking machine you wanted me to be, but somehow i think i’ll be alright.

ahem. so tonight it’s kicking it like a fat lazy sack and probably going out for a celebratory 3 dollar martini with some other folks who have had the same pleasure of terminating their undergraduate careers this fine afternoon. cheers!

[now hearing this: more rock. it’s a rock kind of day. was coalesce’s revolution in just listening, now it’s strung out’s suburban teenage wasteland blues, which i haven’t put on in probably a year or more. still pretty tight though.]

6 hours and it’s over 6 hours and it’s over 6 hours and it’s over 6 hours and it’s over 6 hours and it’s over…

[now hearing this: loud, aggressive rock of all kinds.]

apartment hunting, working, trying to wrap up school and enjoy as much of my last weeks as a student all at once, so it’s hard to find time to sit idly at a computer desk, and too busy at work to find time to do it then. big changes coming down the line though, huh? if things go well i could be a lot happier in about two weeks. that or dead.

so even if there are stories to tell i should be studying microeconomics instead of telling them, so sorry fans. next week will be better. readers digest version: friday night, last party at spencer’s, saturday apartment hunting all day, bbq/pool party in the high desert at night. backflips hurt when you mess them up.

not to be a total flake though, how about a song of the week? when my ipod runs out of batteries in the car lately, i’ve been flipping to one of two local classic rock station to fill the void; as a result, i’ve been downloading some favorites to add to my ipod once i get home. gotta diversify that library, you know. there are so many songs that you never think to grab until you hear them randomly some afternoon on the way home from work. best example recently, i think, has been, american girl by tom petty. i love this song, and i can see why so many people thought the strokes were so great — they copied some really good musicians.

[now hearing this: simpsons.]

monday night i got to see the postal service live. since they only have one cd, that means i got to hear them play every song they have, right there in the palace. the sound was good and the show was excellent — ben gibbard singing is almost always a jaw-dropping experience. love that jenny lewis too. my only complaint is that they didn’t play ‘evan and chan’, which they definitely should have done if they were thinking, ‘what would make brian really pleased with this concert?’ apparently they weren’t. they must have been distracted by their own semi-cheesy video projection backdrop.

and quite nicely, the show also gave me some time hanging out with a girl i have a majorly huge crush on, but with whom i failed to do what i very obviously should have done by now (don’t be crass, i meant kiss her goodnight or something). this has done two things to my mindframe right now: one being to make me very paranoid that she thinks i am not interested, but luckily on the other hand make me very determined to overcome my bashful tendency and go for it very very soon. aided by the fact that my friend jen keeps yelling at me that i’m gonna miss my chance if i don’t act soon. can she be trusted on this topic? i am unsure. she is a girl, so maybe she would know. however, she is crazy, so maybe i’m just fine. either way it’s high time to do something.

i was sitting on her bed for god’s sake. how did i screw that up?

[now hearing this: certainly not a song of the week, because i have missed my window. i’ll do better next sunday, but in the meantime i recommend you download the new deftones single cause it’s pretty fuckin’ good.]

for your edification, it ended up taking 3 ugly organs and most of one in streams (by centaur) to finish that 4 page philosophy paper. it was good even though it was shorter than it should have been. at this point it’s just about having anything at all to hand in though.

1 video critique, 1 paper, 1 test to go. fucking golden.

[now hearing this: nothing. song of the week tomorrow probably.]

quickly, because there is work to be done, i have to recommend you see x-men 2. great movie. best of the superhero wave i’d say, without a doubt, on account of there being characters you actually care about and a story that you actually want to see develop. lovely time.

also, we rented 8 mile which was also pretty good. i don’t want to get all critical on it or anything, i just liked watching it and was definitely rooting for eminem by the end. not a bad weekend for moviegoing in my world.

too bad sunday night has to be the supreme downer of trying to muster the will to write a philosophy paper in the midnight hour of a sunday night when i could be watching adult swim on cartoon network. maybe i will bolster my motivation by seeing how many times i can to listen to the ugly organ before i finish writing.

hey, that’s not a bad idea.

sorry i don’t have a song of the week yet. maybe tomorrow if i get a chance, but don’t hold your breath. got that postal service concert to go to and all.

[now hearing this: “sing along — i’m on the ugly organ, again….”]

momentous occasions as you imagine them are never really as momentous as you’d imagine. yesterday i attended my last class ever. yes, that’s right, my last formal, sit-down-and-listen class session of what has been my nearly life-long education. what a pivotal moment! it’s all life from here: no more talking about it, time to do it! what does ‘taking notes’ mean anyway?

but the experience was fully lackluster. maybe because i do have finals left after all and having tests left to take keep me from realizing what just happened to me. all i know is that having a few beers here and there, watching half of a lakers game and eating a burger and some donuts wasn’t really getting me worked up the way i pictured i would be having finished my ultimate tutorial. sort of a letdown, overall.

i pictured more of a scene where i burst through double doors and do a few cartwheels, righting myself just in time to catch a smiling beauty queen who is falling into my arms, who i swoop up and toss into my convertible so we can drive to the beach for the big year-end bonfire party where everyone i know is engaging in revelrous debauchery. i really could have used that, too; i’ve been kind of stressed out lately.

since my life is not a musical, however, things did not work out this way. luckily in the next 72 hours there’s plenty to look forward to for consolation, like seeing the x-men sequel tonight, my dear friend’s birthday tomorrow, and a postal service concert on monday night to which a certain lady should be accompanying me, things going as planned.

i can live with that. especially after what i thought was a darling little exchange that went something like this:

[walking to class, after being interrupted just before i was about to say something along the lines of, “so what are you doing next week?” with a preemptive, “so i probably won’t see you around anymore, so you have my number, right?”]

[smiling] “yeah, i was just going to ask when you’d be free between finals next week. we should go out for coffee or something.”

[smiling back] “do you drink coffee?”

“well, no, hot chocolate actually . . . i just wanted to sound cool.” [both laugh, brushing against eachother while walking]

“yeah, i don’t usually drink coffee either…”

“well that’s what i like about you, you saw right through me. we could just get milkshakes instead i guess.”

“ooo, that’s a good idea, milkshakes are good…”

[farewells and i’ll-call-you’s exchanged with more smiling before i skate away to my class]

that was a rough transcription from memory but it sure was cute at the time. i’m excited.

[now hearing this: braid, but only in my head. competing with honest-to-goodness office chatter.]