I totally got a squishee at a kwik-e-mart during lunch today!

we did it! we were deemed worthy and reputable enough to deserve the privilege of paying thousands of dollars a month in exchange for an apartment, by the agents in charge of managing the building of which said apartment is a part! hooray for having a place to move into in the near future.

actually, after having put in an application and the starter deposit/holding fee/whatever you call it over a week ago, it’s nice to know they weren’t taking their time in rejecting us and stringing us along. apparently the head manager was just out on personal time most of last week. but now she’s back and we’re in business and i’m letting myself get excited about moving to a new place.

finally, we can begin the fun-filled process of setting up basic services for our new residence, and going down the list of dozens of places that will require our new address to continue letting us pay them hundreds of dollars a month in bills! good times all around.

entertainment weekly has a list up of the top 25 action movies of all time, and although the placement/inclusion of certain picks can be questioned, it’s a pretty decent list. mostly, i was pleased to note that i’ve seen all of them except for three (adventures of robin hood, the wild bunch, and road warrior), which is a pretty good record. of course, die hard landed where it belongs, at number one, a pick you’d have a tough time disputing with any american man.

speaking of which, i have some good news…

live free or die hard – 5 stars

i’ve read some harsh reviews and i’ve read some good ones, but my experience was totally positive going to see this movie. as an enormous fan of the original, who wasn’t even old enough to see the previous installments in a movie theatre, i was tickled just to sit down and see any john mcclane action on a big screen. i won’t deny i also entered the theatre cautiously, expecting a crappy sequel that was a shadow of the glorious first movie.

and yes, of course this doesn’t reach that same level. how could it? we’re talking about comparing it to the best action movie ever. and this isn’t it. are there some scenes that get a little carried away and go further over the top than is believable? yes there are. do they squeeze maybe a few too many ‘mcclane-isms’ in for laughs? sure, it’s possible. are there other flaws, like some of the supporting characters and the unnecessary pg-13-ification? yes, but again, they only stand out so badly when you compare it to the masterpiece that came before.

the important thing is it still feels like die hard. the set pieces are bigger, there’s a wacky sidekick, but mostly it’s still about this guy doing stupid things to beat the bad guys. he gets the shit knocked out of him repeatedly but he doesn’t give up. he cracks jokes to deal with the ridiculousness of his situation. he’s an inch away from death but he keeps on pushing, and you root for him the whole way. and despite a few glaringly farfetched moments, the better part of the action stays very grounded, so you’re not visually overwhelmed by whizzing CG effects, but sitting up in your chair following the guy through every punching, shooting, diving, ledge-hanging moment.

it would be easy to have given this four stars and just say, ‘second or third best in the series, definitely worth seeing even if it’s imperfect’. but i have to take a firmer stance and say despite a few major flaws, i still had so much fun watching this movie i forgave them instantly and just let myself get swept up in it. i’d still call it one of the best action movies i’ve seen in a few years. i’d still gladly buy the dvd and watch it time and time again — preferably a director’s R-rated cut. and i’m sure i’ll still quote lines from it with my buddies when we’re drinking beer and talking shit. so if that doesn’t make a five star movie, i don’t know what else would.

while i was in the parking lot smoking this afternoon, a helicopter flew overhead right across where the sun was in the sky, for like a half second i was in its shadow. it was like a longtin heli-clipse. what are the odds of that?

yeah, nothing much to report, and off to live free or die hard, despite the utter nonsense of that imperative sentence. i mean, shouldn’t someone who is living free(ly) also want to die hard (i.e., be difficult to kill)? i don’t feel the two should be mutually exclusive.

what’s lamer than wearing the band shirt of the band you’re going to see that night?** how about wearing the shirt of a restaurant you like while going in to said restaurant to order lunch.

we saw a guy with the bright yellow zankou chicken shirt come in to the west LA location while eating there today, and thought, ‘no way. he HAS to work here. he can’t be that lame.’ and we were WRONG! he just ordered food, ignoring the fact that his outfit was the mirror image of the people taking his order! what a douche!

sure, there may be a small chance he did in fact work there but was not working at that exact moment, but that doesn’t make a very good story, now does it.

** except maybe in the rare scenario where it’s an old/reuniting band and you have a legitimate shirt you got at another show, like, 15 years ago, and you’re showing you’ve supported them from waaaaaaaay back in the day and never lost the love. and even then, it better be a pretty badass vintage shirt and totally authentic, otherwise it might even be worse.

hmm, i was going to wait for tomorrow morning to post, but right as i was ready to go to bed, i forgot i had put clothes in the washing machine hours ago and never transferred them to the dryer (side note: how come you can say ‘washer and dryer’, and you can say ‘washing machine’ but no one ever uses the term ‘drying machine’? oh yes, these are the things i think of when i find myself suddenly robbed of an extra 45 minutes of sleep).

so anyway, this will become the movie post i was saving for later in the week, after which i am sure to have seen live free or die hard, no matter how non-R-rated or cheesy it may be.

in place of reviewing that, i’ll share with you my first ever video posted to youtube instead. see, a few days ago, spencer and i were chatting over the ol’ computer, and he sent me a link to the trailer for the new PTA movie, there will be blood. it’s a pretty cool preview. very intense. but as we discussed it and re-watched it, it became ridiculous in its melodrama and pathos. we started laughing at it and couldn’t take it seriously anymore. the dam really broke when he suggested substituting another word every time the narrator uses the word ‘people’ in his monologue, after which i said, ‘dude, i have imovie, i can make that happen.

this is the result, on the same level as overdubbed swear words in televised movies. for full effect, i strongly recommend watching the original first, but there you have it: my first contribution to the world of online video sharing.

because i still have a good half hour to kill, how about i also list off my top five looked-forward-to movies of the rest of the year, at least as far as i know so far. we won’t count die hard cause it’s out this week, and the transformers can stay safely tucked away as cool childhood toys and not shitty bruckheimer productions, thank you very much. so wait, i guess that just makes for four, really.

4) superbad: i haven’t seen a good high school movie in ages, and this one’s a judd apatow flick that held an R rating. guaranteed gold.

3) stardust: can’t not go see a neil gaiman novel turned into a film starring claire danes, that’d be like an outright betrayal of my own high school self. plus de niro as a pirate. come on.

2) no country for old men: i didn’t even know until today that the coen brothers had a movie coming out this year, and this looks like a return to form. fingers crossed — ladykillers, i’m looking at you.

1) war inc: might end up being cheesy, but i’m hoping the trailer is just dumbing it down a little, as this could be a sort of spiritual successor to one of my favorite films ever, grosse pointe blank, which would absolutely kill.

okay, i did it. time to retrieve things from the drying machine and get the fuck to sleep.

so i’m a full day back from my little brother’s BIG wedding weekend, which is why you haven’t heard from me in a week. there are plenty of things to tell which won’t fit all into a blog post, but a quick rundown would be most effective:

saturday: flew in, saw the family, went out to ESPN zone with the dudes for dinner while the bachelorette party was going on (my mom and sister at a chippendale’s show, weird!), lost about a hundred dollars gambling.

sunday: father’s day brunch, mimosas, sitting around not doing much during the day. bachelor party going from dinner at hooters, gambling in old vegas, then of course the obligatory strip club trip. lost and made back about 80 dollars, then spent more than i would have liked to on the rest of the night, but what can you do. we did get a free stretch SUV limo ride to scores though, which was pretty fun. drank one jaeger bomb with my brother and about a dozen or more beers. eesh.

monday: woke up still drunk, i swear, spent the day recovering, jessica arrived, we did lunch, wedding rehearsal in the evening, nice drinks & appetizers with the wedding party, lost back the 80 i rebounded with at the bachelor party while my girlfriend won herself about 70 playing blackjack. no fair. in between, squeezed in a few rounds with my lovely friend madilyne who lives in vegas and took us to a bar off the strip called the freakin’ frog which has FIVE HUNDRED kinds of beer. enjoyed several varieties of obscure ‘rogue’ brand products. finally met her boyfriend, who is totally rad.

tuesday: spent all day being nervous about the wedding that wasn’t even mine, dressed up real fancy-like (pictures to follow, hopefully), sweated through the ceremony, managed not to tear up. my sister and i did sneak in a high five though after we walked down the aisle together before taking our places on opposite sides of the altar. also, some crazy birds did a fly-by of the wedding party right in the middle and almost took our heads off.

the reception was great, some fun jewish traditions where my mom almost fell off a chair being lifted with her on it. lots of drinking dancing aunts uncles and cousins. jessica looked spectacular in her fancy dress and straightened hair for the special occasion. then i mistakenly thought wedding attire would bring me good luck and lost another 80 dollars gambling, while jessica ran her total winnings past the hundred dollar mark. sigh.

wednesday we pretty much just packed and left, returning to LA to spend the rest of our free afternoon making some apartment visits. we may even have one picked out as long as everything goes smoothly with our application, but i won’t go so far as to post a link or anything and jinx it. we’ll see tomorrow hopefully.

overall it was a great great time. loved seeing the family and spending some quality time with my brother. i’ll tell you right now though: four and a half days in vegas feels like double that, and is much too long for any future visits. give me one solid night to win or lose and drink and go home. good wedding though. now i have a sister-in-law who’s on a mediterranean cruise with my brother as we speak. crazy!

OH HOLY GOD don’t let me forget either, you absolutely cannot do without this pay day song if you haven’t already grabbed it from various quality outlets of musics like pitchfork’s forkcast or the good old catbirdseat monthly mix.

i picked up the last okkervil river album and liked it quite a bit, some songs even full on ruled. (side note: i can’t help but like how their website looks so much like the decemberists one either.) but if this preview track from their new album is any indication, that conundrum i spoke of yesterday on picking top albums of the year may be much less of a problem than i feared.

anyway, you have to have to HAVE TO check out ‘our life is not a movie or maybe‘. it carries a strained cry of heartbreak and disappointment in waves of pounding piano and feels like lost love in its purest, most rock and roll form. i swear i could listen to this on repeat for hours.

hot chip was great again, in case you were wondering. they turn some of the softer stuff from the album into major pounding dancey fun in the live show, i tell you what. some of the new songs are killer, too. definitely picking that up when it comes out, which they say won’t be til next year.

the opening acts, however, were like knives in my ear holes. the first band, the boggs, were just really mediocre guitar rock with some yelling and clapping and stuff, but at least got slightly better toward the end of their set.

the middle act, planningtorock (even their name is grating), was literally the worst live act i have ever seen. i didn’t like the boggs, they bored me. but at least i didn’t want to leave just to save myself from the torment of listening to them. i’ve not liked lots of opening bands, but watching this band actively depressed me. check out this planningtorock live clip and you might get some sense of how every minute of this act just made me angrier and angrier. who sees something like this and says, ‘yes! i should fund this brilliant artist and find ways to spread the joy of her talents as far and wide as possible!’. i can’t comprehend the person who is a planningtorock fan. i’ve never wanted to boo at a performer so badly in all my years of concertgoing. wailing loud non-words and spazzing around in funny hats in front of shitty faux-artsy video footage does not make you talented. it makes you an awful, attention starved annoyance that stands between me and a good band, and verges on ruining my night.

whew. sorry, i just had to get that off my chest. seriously, so so bad. to not end on such a sour note, please enjoy a fun hot chip video for ‘over and over’, a song which i already liked but which once you see live you will absolutely lose your shit over. that little scrawny singer is so adorable when he dances!

i had ice cream cake for lunch today. it was someone’s birthday and i didn’t feel like eating cafeteria food again so i just held out for the sweet stuff. i think the lack of nutrition, post-sugar rush combo is making me a little woozy though. such irresponsibility, i love it.

i have to go home and eat up though to fuel my body for the hot chip show tonight. after their coachella set, i know it will not be something to take lightly. none of that chilling toward the back nodding your head business; hot chip demand serious bouncing.

peculiar, if not surprising, how strongly my eyes light up when i see the words, ‘new montain goats’ on any music site, anywhere… pitchfork pointed me to a daytrotter sessions post of four live tracks i hadn’t heard before. they’re not even stand-out tracks, really — although with a catalog stretching past the 300 song mark, that only gets harder and harder to do, so you can’t hate too much — but i love them anyway.

and that brings up an interesting thought: if he’s not working on a new album due out by year’s end, this’ll be the first year in at least three that my annual top five is goatless… and in two that it’s decemberist-less! there really hasn’t been much else to fill the void either. how sad.