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good morning! maybe that should be a question instead of an exclamation. why is it overcast every single morning in LA? it seems to clear up by afternoon, but it always starts out sullen. i take it as a personal challenge to make my day shine.

does this ever happen to you? you’re sitting in one room apart from some of your good friends. or even in the same room, but far enough off not to be in the conversation they’re having. you can hear them though, and you overhear that they’re having one of those good sharing-personal-thoughts-and-feelings conversations all of a sudden. you know, one of those ones where you feel like you’re becoming better friends with someone and glad you’re so close. only since you’re apart from them, you only know it’s going on, you can’t really just walk up and jump in the middle of it. it’s like you missed the boat on a good moment, or maybe even a good long discussion. that’s what happened to me last night. and whenever that happens, it makes me feel really sad and lonely. i want to hear about your feelings too, i really do…

that’s what i get for retreating to my room for a while to listen to my new rx bandits cd. but at least the cd is really good. and i mean really good. they manage to do pop-punk (with ska touches) better than any of the bands that are actually popular, and they do the sublime-reggae-ska thing better than sublime did. and i’m pretty sure matt embree of vocals and guitar is just a genious. the only problem i see is if you tire easily of songs about tv/radio/corporations taking over our lives. but musically it’s outstanding, and definitely their best. proof that they’re still a growing pool of talent.

also, i made it to the post office today to send a package, and it made me ten minutes late to work. finally! i was actually late! of course, everyone in charge still isn’t here so what does it matter? as long as once they get here they remember it’s payday because i have to buy concert tickets and cds. and eventually food.

not that i haven’t posted enough today or anything, but i have to share this at least. my favorite author uses blogger on his webpage. how excellent is that? i feel closer to him now somehow and naturally that makes me feel better about me.

work’s almost done, and i should really take my leave of posting for a while or we’ll all be sick of me soon.

slapped up one more, because i can. good band too.

so it’s 3:30 and i’m doing nothing again. i knew i shouldn’t have said anything.

hey, check it out, a good day at work! i spent over an hour learning about html — something i’m actually interested in! that’s wonderful. if this keeps up i may revoke my opinion that working it just awful in and of itself. maybe it can be satisfying… but i won’t say anything more, so i don’t jinx it. i mean, the day is far from over.

found some new blogs worth reading. they’re good. maybe too good. i should hope to be so good.

i’m not feeling as inadequate as i would have you believe, fear not. i just have this feeling… do you ever get this?… whenever i read something someone else has written (or at least anything decent), i think it’s better than anything i could write or have written. and when i look at what i’ve written, it always sounds really stupid and badly put together to me. so am i really that bad or just insecure?

i think part of why i’ve taken to reading and writing blogs so much is to practice writing. i read enough, i should be able to get the hang of producing words in a coherent and sensible and hopefully entertaining way. at least eventually. right?

here i am on tuesday and i don’t think i’m gonna pull a stunt like yesterday’s. i feel like doing something with my day today. i wish i could build a sand castle.

the morning just hasn’t started out very cheerily though. for one, it’s cloudy and overcast and chilly almost, at least for southern california in the summer. not that i want sun all the time, just that it’s always cloudy but it never rains here. reminds me of myself. (huh?) it only rains if february. my problem is that if it rained, at least i would be wet and i’d feel awake. this way everything’s just dim and bland, and i feel like i’m still half asleep.

the second things was having to stand up on the bus. i might not have minded normally, but i wanted to read today. and i can’t do that if i’m holding the bar for balance in one hand, and holding my skateboard in the other. so i just got to teeter there in the aisle waiting to get off. humph. maybe i could get one of those spiffy backpacks that you can strap a skateboard into and solve my problem, only (a) the length of my board and (b) my all-to-clear knowledge that i’m not a real skateboarder and shouldn’t look like one both prevent me from trying that. so it’s just teetering in the aisle on the crowded days for me.

i don’t know what’s going on in my head lately but i desperately need something new. maybe the batch of rock concerts on the horizon will help, but i feel in the muck lately. going back to classes in a few weeks might help a little because it’ll be switching things up a bit. i’m pretty sure getting some random new roommate to take josh’s place in our four-person university apartment won’t help at all. i miss josh. i don’t want a new roommate. i want a new room. i want a new a lot of things.

at least the promise ring plays good songs. why did we ever meet, you ask? that’s a very good question.

today may be the greatest day of my life.

some daily show headlines video clips and a wet hot american summer trailer later, it’s official. i did it! a whole day at work without working for a single second! hahahahaha! i feel so powerful.

okay, looks like it’s time to go home then, huh. wow, do i feel good. maybe a little too good. i wonder what i’ll do tomorrow…

oh my god i think i’m gonna make it.

although i’m starting to get really paranoid, i’m almost there! 25 minutes to five! thanks to ain’t it cool news and watching a bunch of quicktime movie trailers, i’ve managed to burn up the last hour or so. this is going to be a really great accomplishment. i can’t believe it’s really happening. what a good monday!

i’ll check in again before i leave to let you know if i got taken down or if i will live on forever in the minds of men. ha!

alright it’s about quarter to four and still i resist! this is getting nervewracking for some reason. i keep feeling like someone is going to ask what i’ve been doing all day and then scold me sharply when i have no good reply. more likely what will happen though is i’ll coast the rest of the day with no one really caring what i’m doing. sort of like the whole rest of the day so far.

i didn’t find any good blogs to add to the list. maybe someday. maybe i’m just too picky. but what do i do next? who knows?

whew… this is getting tense! i feel like i’m playing a game now, with this attempt to go a whole day without working. it’s fun! don’t call me a slacker, i don’t plan on making a habit of this. i just want to see if i can do it.

so it’s past two thirty now and i’m still going strong. wrote an email to my buddy josh and checked out some music sites, downloaded some tunes. things are going fine. the last hour or so is going to get sticky though i bet, because i’m already running out of things to do to waste time. i’m a tough competitor though so i’m gonna make it, i just know it. it’d be easier if any of the people on my blog list would post something for me to read. maybe i just need to find some new blogs to add to the list! that’s it!

more later of course.