after three quarters of a year of living with my lovely lady, i now find myself with almost a week home alone while she’s off on a work trip. saturday was fine, because i spent the whole day drinking beers, watching UCLA screw up their final four game, playing (and losing) poker, rocking some rock band, and so on. that was a good time not terribly unlike any other saturday.
but i wake up sunday — much later than normal, with no one to stir me — and am somehow totally disoriented by my solitude. normally a day of lounging around the house together, it becomes a weirdly quiet period of isolation. i find myself constantly asking, sometimes even aloud to no one but myself, ‘so, what now?’
not to say i was paralyzed by loneliness. i normally take these opportunities to plunge headlong into my less social pursuits; i watched maybe 5 episodes of battlestar galactica over the course of the day. i played in a 90-person poker tournament online that ended up taking, to my surprise, four hours; but which, also to my surprise, i took first place in. i went on a grocery run that was like a flashback to my first week out of college: root beer, frozen pizzas, sandwich materials. and i sat alone in my bedroom and read a book.
what might have been ‘a pretty good sunday’ only a few years ago, felt somehow eerie or empty in the context of my grown-up, co-habitating self. aware of my almost instant change in disposition after only 24 hours solo, i had to wonder — is this a sad sign of dependence, or a romantic pang of lovesickness? or can it be a little of both, and be a part of normal healthy coupledom?
so yes, i miss my jessica a bit and have a week of nerdiness ahead. of course, one thing that will definitely not happen is the oft-dramatized lonely/crazy housewife syndrome, where one’s days are joylessly occupied with the endless battle for a spotless abode. sorry jessica, it is weird without you and all, but not so weird i’d resort to any sort of scrubbing.