Author: briancollapsing

there are those days when the idea of leaving your apartment to do something like work, or school in this case, is just such an inner struggle of conscience. i really ought to go to class, your good side says with its halo shimmering. but dammit if i wouldn’t much rather stay home and read a book, listen to music, work on a mixtape, or a bundle of other things, fires back the cooler but not necessarily better side of evil. not to suggest that problems are always two-sided with absolute rights and wrongs (morality is all sort of wishy washy, really); i’m just resorting to classic imagery because it’s convenient.

luckily i did go to class though, otherwise i wouldn’t have learned that human bipedalism (walking on two feet) has resulted in narrower pelvic sizes, therefore reducing the size of the infants which can be passed through said region, which is basically why human babies are so utterly helpless — they’re continuing their gestation outside of the body, instead of staying inside until they get too big to be born without killing one or both of the people involved. no wonder newborns are so mushy; they’re not fully formed yet. i mean, baby horses can walk within minutes of being born. human babies are just like squirmy balls of play-doh.

so this is why we go to school. because we learn great things like that.

i still am a fan of non-school time though, in which i can complete arts and crafts projects (for certain parties whom will know who they are soon enough) and read neat books. or do radio programs, even. that start at 7 pacific tonight. that are more fun when people listen.

“when i say hello mr. thompson and step on your foot, you smile and nod . . . hello mr. thompson.”

“i think he’s talking to you . . .”

studying pays off kids. may not always be the case, but every now and then spending most of a day reading from a textbook can actually be good for you. i think i did a fine-ass job on that test just now. boo yah.

whenever i hear or find myself saying “boo yah” (rarely, don’t worry), i always think of the tomacco episode of the simpsons. “props to mindy on the grab!” . . . .

well anyhow, a job well done on a test warrants a night of straight up, full on relaxing. nothing school related will be done tonight. lord no. oh, and today in the mail i finally found the french version of the amelie poster that i bought myself for my birthday — in january. note to fellow bloggers: ordering stuff from some dude in germany and selecting “ground shipment” entails much patience. but i am very pleased with my purchase. say what you will about the film; i don’t care. i’m asserting my right to enjoy a sappy-sweet romance in french with an adorable central character, and to subsequently hang a poster of said adorable girl on my wall, only with a french title to prove that i’m cultured (but the title rhymes in french! it really is cooler that way!)

final note and clarification. when i said last night about not wanting to get a joe-job for the summer, my friend joe read it and thought i was referencing a conversation we had had about summer jobs. i had thought that the phrase “joe-job” was pretty standard verbage for run-of-the-mill unfulfilling employment, but if this was not the case for you consider this my explanation. and, if you are joe and you are reading this, that may not have been a reference to you, but this is:

“joe is so hardcore people are afraid to stand next to him. they see him and they’re just like, ‘whoa, that’s joe, i better back up.'”

i (heart) joe.

jesus, i sure don’t want to spend even more time this morning studying contract law. all these rules . . . it makes a man never want to sign his name to anything ever again.

maybe some taquitos would ease the pain.

oh man . . . my head is swimming with contract law terminology. i’ve been studying for my business law midterm for many many hours and it’s making me ill. ugh.

but hell man, even two midterms in one week can’t keep me all the way down. this is the last week of school until spring break! shit yeah. a week from now i’ll be chilling with kate, post-pinback-show. that will sure be something, eh?

haha, that’s canada humor. of the unfunny variety.

but it’s hard to be too excited with so much crap on the table here. not just the two midterms, but the pending issues of getting a good summer job that is life-sustaining (i.e. pays adequately), career-advancing (i.e. not a joe-job), and dare i hope, interesting or fun. we can only cross fingers and burn offers to certain advertising gods on that one. oh, and we can’t forget the extra BONUS issue of trying to find a good place to live next year with the whole crew. the lady we’re dealing with now for a potential house is not exactly what i’d call together. more of the addle-brained nervous-i-have-to-put-my-trust-in-you variety. but at least she’s . . . umm . . . nice?

prescription: root beer.

slacker! no post since thursday? no concert review from death & dismemberment until two days later? what kind of a blog are you running here anyway?

alright alright. i’m sorry. i’ll try to do better. friday was good because school was minimal and concert was loveable. but no you are invited? i have to say that was sort of a letdown. maybe they’ll come through when i see them again two weeks from yesterday in boston for spring break (air guitar pose).

honesly though, the show was superb. i’d never heard an aveo song before in my life, and they pleased me very much. i would have bought their record if i had more cash on me. good stuff from a three-piece band. very enjoyable for an opener. would see again if given opportunity.

then my first dismemberment plan live experience which, although i have no others to compare it to, i have to say was top-notch. they made my week. they just play with so much enthusiasm it floors me. and i’ve never wanted to bust a move at a concert so much in my life as when they started in on “the city”. hot damn, that’s some sweet sweet music. dig the plan man, dig ’em a lot.

personally, though, i have to say i was let down by death cab. i attribute this to a) them following the plan, who are much higher energy and more intense; and b) the el rey having superhard floors or something, because i whenever i’m there, i get really sore from standing all night by the time the last band is halfway done. i don’t know, i think i would have put them second to last and ended with the perkier band if it were my show to plan, because death cab is really good and played a good set too. my heart just wasn’t in it by then, so i didn’t feel as awestruck as i did last time i saw them. sorry guys, it’s not you, it’s me. well, and the fact that you followed a much more upbeat band that sort of set a weird mood going into a set of drastically less frantic indie rock. nothing personal.

tonight (well, saturday i mean) was another concert — yes that’s two nights in a row. this one by snmnmnm at the campus coffee house. i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again: these guys may be weird with their tuba and their accordion, but they’re so much fun! they’ve officially won my “best local band” award until i can think of a better one. i even bought their cd (which doesn’t come out until tuesday. i’m so much cooler than you).

perhaps i should have been more descriptive or even amusing in relating the past few days but i’d rather go to sleep now. do yourself a favor though since i haven’t made you laugh in days (or probably ever) — go to this page and download the “bologna feet” sketch. holy crap, that’s a laugh riot.

ha! mr. porter, biology king. being reminded of figures from your past you haven’t thought about for years is so much fun. it’s like seeing a favorite rerun old enough where you forgot all the jokes — all you remember was how funny they were. that guy used the phrase “and now for a little review…” more than any teacher in the history of teaching. our class wasn’t always so boring though because mr. porter was so nice that the kids totally took advantage of him. it got to be a zoo in that place some days. i remember one time everyone was talking so loudly they were practically yelling, while we were supposed to be looking at things in microscopes, and one kid named drew standing up on top of his lab stool and doing some sort of dance or something… it was like i was in preschool for christ’s sake. but not in that fun build-things-with-blocks way.

last night was good. sitting around, concocting a little audio-potion to return the favor, and just being stupid and listening to some good tunes. i think tonight’s project is to burn a bunch of family guy episodes and skits from the state onto a nice handy cd library from secret sources before they disappear. such wealths of comedy are too good to be true, almost, so must be preserved before some authority swoops in and ruins the fun. that, and the utter excitement and satisfaction of an advertising midterm. do you know what phase of the advertising spiral this ad is a part of? is it pioneering? competitive? retention? oh boy, i sure hope i can figure it out!

speaking of which, i had sort of a conflict today. i’ve been thinking for a while that i’d like to go into advertising. seems like a nice thing to do with a business degree that still allows to be creative and work with creative types, work with other people, have deadlines and projects and all that to keep things interesting. but at the same time, i’m so not the mainstream consumer. i don’t read any magazines regularly. i don’t do sitcoms, or tv dramas, or any other popular programming really. i think adbusters is cool. i don’t think i would want to buy myself any of the things i would be expected to try to make other people buy… so am i just walking into a life of hypocrisy here? that’s a kind of scary thought.

maybe i should stay away from lifelong ethical dilemmas for the moment and concentrate on getting to anthropology class (for once) and finishing this mixtape. these are nice friendly little obstacles we can deal with without calling into question my whole college education. not something i need to be doing with only 2 and a half semesters left til i’m all on my own.

before i get to the good stuff, i just have to share this, because i am cruel.

on the way to class today i was skateboarding along hoover st. in the bike path toward campus, minding my own. riding toward me was a fairly “jolly” young lady on a bike, with a white t-shirt stretched over her large biking body. no big deal, right? i don’t normally take notice of people anyway. but as she rode past me, i saw the funniest thing i saw today: her tshirt had a great big “jelly belly” logo on the front. oh my god, i was glad she was riding the opposite direction and i didn’t have to hold back. if she had been riding alongside me and i saw that i’m positive i couldn’t have held it in and spared her feelings. not to mention being next to her for longer would have made it even funnier. i just had to wonder, did she not realize the walking sight-gag she was going to be when she put that shirt on this morning? or did she do it in some strange act of pride? i can’t see either as being very feasible. i guess she just loves those jelly beans.

oh man, i’m awful.

this week’s song of the week is the issue at hand here though. it was rough this week: do i pick a phantom planet song since they played here yesterday and their cd just came out? do i slap up an old death cab or d-plan favorite, since their big show is this friday night and i’m quivering with anticipation? do i share a tasty trio song since i saw them last weekend and they rocked my saturday night admirably? or do i just stick up the saves the day song with the riff that somehow, months after i thought i decided i didn’t like their new cd, changed my mind? (the song is jukebox breakdown, by the way).

hard to say. but to keep things refreshing, it’s none of those — fooled you! it’s a great track from the new lawrence arms cd that i should have bought at the show saturday, but didn’t. someday, someday… anyway, this song, your gravest words, has really hit the spot for me this week, and you’ll be singing it to yourself too before long.

all the nights this week post-jetpack-speech are looking mighty unobstructed. as in hardly any assignments or random crap to do. i am so down with that, let me tell ya.

for example, last night i finished the kid. what a great book. it got a little less funny and/or observational and a little more sentimental as it neared the end, and sort of lost its edge, but hell, if i was writing a whole book about my adopted newborn and all the shit i went through to get him, i think by the end i would start going soft too just thinking about how lucky i was and all that. brian-endorsed and recommended? yes.

another reason this week is surpassing prior expectations? i got three birthday presents this week.

but wait, you ask, wasn’t your birthday a month ago last sunday? why yes it was, how observant, i would reply. however, i don’t hold it against some folks for not quite getting things here in time. better late than never on the gift issue, without a doubt. plus, the added bonus is that i wasn’t really expecting them, and so all the sudden my mailbox is stuffed with presents and i’m grinning a big dopey one.

so now i have a new cd, a sweet mixtape (plus some yummy frogs), and an unbelievably picked first edition of the kindly ones, which is quite probably the coolest book ever. (i previously owned an inferior-cover-designed second edition). a certain someone sure knows how to tickle my geek-bone, as you can tell, and she defintely won some big points with that one. bravo!

i’ll be back later with a song of the week after i fight an inner battle to decide what it should be. and yes, this inner battle will involve broadswords and those spiked-ball-on-a-chain-attached-to-a-stick things. those are called maces, right? they should definitely have a scarier or more menacing name than ‘mace’. like deathball.

huh?

man, that old counter says times are hard and nobody likes me anymore. maybe because i forgot about the world last night — too busy with a presentation i should have started before 9pm the evening before i had to give it (the next morning at 10). it was a speech about how jetpacks work, so it could have been way worse; but i put in a lot of work, so no time for blogging. it went really well, in case you were wondering. from my speech:

[after discussing heigh/weight ranges to safely ride an XFV personal flying vehicle]

“this means the morbidly obese or freakishly small will not get to experience the sublime joy of flight until demand urges the design of petite and plus sizes of the XFV…”

haha… i’m such a bitch.

but wait, there’s more! phantom planet played a short show at high noon in the middle of our campus to promote their cd release (which was today). so that happened. i don’t know, my thought process while hearing and watching them was along two lines, mostly. the first was that they sure looked like they enjoy being in a band. and that’s important — they were obviously having a great time, or at least convincing me that they were. i suppose it’s possible that they’re just showy.

the second line of thought was that they’re not that great, however, i started thinking about how not every band i ever see or hear can be spectacular . . . it’s just not possible. if every band was amazing, my standards would just keep getting higher and higher until i expected more than any real humans could deliver. perhaps i’d have to turn to heroin to get my kicks, since music wouldn’t really do anything for me anymore. is this a dangerous opinion to take? is allowing for mediocrity only a step away from enjoying dave matthews? well i didn’t mean to get into all that, i just wanted to say this really: phantom planet isn’t that great. it’s true, i think, and i don’t know anyone who thinks they’re too impressive, but i did enjoy seeing them. you could say i liked them, or thought they were good, even though i realize there are so many better things out there.

i feel like by saying these things i’m teetering on the edge of losing all credibility or taste, somehow. well, screw you guys. i’m going to go watch mtv and hope to catch a linkin park video. damn those things are funny. have you seen the one with the floating ninjas, where he sings upside down standing on the ceiling in this weird sewer/cave place? it’s a stellar video, really. the song is “one step closer”, i think. fucking priceless.

sunday afternoon concert review time. i think the biggest feeling i got from the show last night was that i am old. when you’re getting pushed around by 17 year old girls with braces and look like you have a few years on at least 70 percent of the crowd, you start realizing that things are changing before your very eyes. man, and i’m only 21. imagine how strange it’s going to be ten years from now. (shudder).

on to the music though: the first band which i think was called ‘timmy goes boom’ (or something like that) was very good at doing what it seemed like they set out to do — play fast, loud, bad, annoying music. i’d definitely recommend missing them next time they come to your town.

the rest of the show was all uphill. the lawrence arms — who until last night i had only a passing familiarity with other than knowing they were made up of members of the late great slapstick — certainly made a fan out of me with their set. a nice tight 35 minutes of energized rock which was fun to watch and sounded great. i would have seriously answered their inquiry for a place to stay last night too, if i had more space here and less roommates, because they seemed like fun guys.

alkaline trio, who sadly were not headlining, still impressed me this time around. last time i saw them (last summer, maybe?) they didn’t seem that into it, and didn’t play at least a few of the songs i most wanted to hear. last night they managed to hit most of my favorites (although i understand there are too many to hope for all of them to get their turn), and were certainly excited about what they were doing. i sure do love to hear matt skiba scream, let me tell you. and hearing them play (and play well at that — the show sounded great) reminded me why i love them so much: their songs are fucking cool. not like i didn’t remember already — i did pay 20 bucks for the ticket — but hearing him scream out “tongue-tied, bleeding from your eyes, even christ himself would cringe at the sight of your scars…” right in front of you is a fairly moving experience.

last up, bouncing souls. i’ve drifted farther and farther from punk music in its purer forms, but i’m still mighty glad to have seen this band live now. if i were to have a personal punk renaissance, it’d be with the bouncing souls. they just had so much fun up there, and played so fast and loud and still put together a lot of great songs without falling prey to the ‘punk doesn’t have to sound good as long as its fast and/or angry’ beast. if i were more familiar with them i could list some examples (i think ‘kate is great’ was one, could be wrong), but sadly i am not. they pulled about 30 kids onstage to sing the last song with them too, which was another reason i have to give them credit (much to the chagrin of the house of blues staff, who tried to pull tenacious teenagers away from microphones and herd them off through the wings but fought a losing battle until the song ended). overall, a worthy show for sure. and one commemorated by the standard 12 dollar graveyard-picture black t-shirt to help pay for alkaline trio’s alcohol abuse. outstanding.