Author: briancollapsing

seldom do moments of clarity in purpose such as this occur, but i just realized my true purpose as a consumer, and this is it. at least in the short term. when is that blasted paycheck coming?

packed some stuff and getting ready to head off to the city that never sleeps. or is it the city of lights? the city i live in? the city of angels? anthony kiedis?

i have to stop this. maybe a few days away from computers will cool me down. all blog and no play makes brian a dull boy. but you know you’ll miss me when i’m gone.

oh and as a final note: it saddens me terribly, no, it pains me constantly, that liz won’t add me to her page. it hurts me with every passing moment. i’m decimated. destroyed! delirious with anguish! if only some respite in the form of a link on the new topography would come and wash away my grief!

that was just some melodrama for her benefit. never make idle threats. i’m really going for real this time. talk to you saturday.

done with work for the week. safe and sound at home. smiling.

the afternoon was nice and laid back too. good times. first i had to run an errand and go check the prices of boxes at a place a few blocks away. my boss needs to send stuff. in boxes. so i walked over to “box brothers” (i bet they had a good time coming up with that one. creative masterminds. and i bet they’re not even brothers.) and wrote down various dimensions of boxes available and their prices. while i was doing this i thought to myself about how sad it would be to start a box-selling business. even if you included shipping in with the business, it just seems sad to me. can you make much money selling boxes for under 2 dollars and mailing things? i’ll have to ask when i go back to actually buy whatever boxes my boss decides he wants.

and the excitement wasn’t limited to the box brothers. on the way there, i heard in the distance some guy yelling. it was really really loud though so i figured it must be a bullhorn. as i got closer i saw it was a guy standing on the corner with microphone leading into a megaphone thing sitting on top of one of those cabinet things that has the circuits for the street lights and stuff. i was handed a small pamphlet as i neared that corner, and it said, “what will fill the void?” if i were to read further, it would have answered, in so many words, “god”, but i didn’t read. he was screaming loudly and fanatically enough to know i wasn’t interested. he yelled things like “how many people need to die of aids before you realize the lord says thou shall not fornicate” and “what’s it gonna take before you open your eyes” and “do you need to get cancer before you take a look at your life” and such nonsense. he was still yelling on my way back too, about “how many bottles of white out will it take to make the bible fit the lives we’re living” or something. he obviously disapproved of everyone on the streets today because he seemed pretty upset. i just sort of smiled and went my way. people like that make me really sad though. not only do they make christianity look bad for those who actually use it constructively, but they are just so devoted to something for no reason other than they want to be happy in the afterlife. it seems like such a joyless existence. does he go home at night and think, “i really did a good job for god today” and feel good about himself? i’ll never ever understand. that’s why i’m a heathen.

speaking of heathen… time to go to vegas yet?

never have i felt so well policed, why should i be anything but pleased?

only about an hour and a half left of work. picture me doing the cabbage patch. now stop it, i look like an idiot doing that dance as does anyone doing the cabbage patch.

the computer i use here is so slow. i’m supposed to be checking out this site for my boss. you know, research. but every time i try to load it up the browser freezes. every time. stupid imac. now, i don’t know how i feel about apple computers in general, even though i’ve always used pc’s personally. i don’t think i’m against apple or for it. it’s good that there’s competition any way you look at it. but i do know one thing i hate. this apple. it’s the slowest computing machine i’ve ever come in contact with. there have been times when i’ve had to restart, and it took over half an hour to reboot. that seems like a problem to me. only having the browser freeze means it’s a good day, because i don’t have to start over completely. stupid imac. but at least it’s a pretty cobalt blue, right? grrrrr. i wish i could just bring my trusty dell laptop with me and work on that. i love my laptop. i miss you, laptop.

hey, maybe i’ll bring it with me to vegas and blog from there! i can ring up some service or another from the hotel room i bet. i’m sure no one would think less of me for that…

( i want to make it clear that i’m joking. no computer has a chokehold on me that bad just yet, but you never know.)

hump day in effect. so today is good so far. been casually looking over some sites for my project, which is low intensity and therefore allows me to concentrate on what’s really important: listening to music. also, i got another response about the shiner shirt! that made me really happy. people like these that would help out a more or less complete stranger really restore my faith in the human race (contented sigh and grin). so now collapsing has one more official friend. let’s hear it for ok+3 (and especially jen).

oh yeah, and i haven’t even mentioned yet how i’m going to las vegas tomorrow for my first time ever. not to gamble or drink or go to strip clubs (sadly), but to see my girlfriend’s older brother’s wedding. that’s right, it’s in las vegas. it’s a long story and not that pertinent to my life though so we’ll just skip it. matt (the groom) and tori (the bride) are really rad and fun though so it should be a good time. plus hopefully i can see the big pirate show in front of whichever hotel it is that’s caribbean themed… i love pirates. arrr.

but perhaps most importantly i love that we’re leaving for vegas tomorrow morning from my girlfriend’s parent’s house, which we’ll drive to tonight. and although this means i can’t go see the final fantasy movie tonight with my roommates (i’m totally there on saturday though), it does mean i don’t have to work tomorrow because i won’t be here anymore. and that makes this friday! score. five hours left in the work week. i can live with that.

it’s definitely time to subtlely start dropping “it’s time for lunch” hints to the crowd here. i’ll blog more to be sure cause after i leave here, i might not get to for a couple days. oh goodness, i just realized that. and it’s disconcerting how not having blog access is actually a concern of mine now. who’s a nerd now?

time to wrap up the day i think, blog-wise, so here are the highlights of my evening. only in reverse chronological order (sort of like a certain great movie) to make it even more interesting that it already (of course) was:

–typed this

–wasn’t hungry anymore, for now, so decided to put the cookies away and blog about my evening before reading a bit more and going to bed.

–had some delicious chips ahoy peanut butter chocolate chip cookies and milk. you should try them if you see them at the store. they’re awesome. ate them while listening to music.

–finally poured milk and grabbed cookies.

–got milk out of fridge, and while i was opening the new gallon, the little plastic pull tab on the freshness ring — or whatever you call that little plastic thing that means the milk is new — broke off, leaving the intact ring still on the lid of the gallon. unable to rip it off with my hand, i had to get a fork and pry it off. somehow, it made me feel like i ruined the milk or something. i don’t know why. it just felt wrong.

–suddenly felt really hungry, so i went to the kitchen to get some milk and cookies. yum.

–found out that the shiner shirt plea fell on kind ears; there was an email from pete from north by northwest in my inbox saying he was planning on going to the show and would get me a shirt. how incredibly cool is that? it really worked! life is pleasant sometimes.

–finished act 3 and felt like getting up and taking a break to check my email and maybe read some blogs.

–put amnesiac, the richard d. james album, and lula divinia on the cd player and hit random, then sat down to read some of a midsummer night’s dream. i really like it. and i really enjoy the fact that i’m a person who reads shakespeare for leisure. it makes me proud of myself for being at least somewhat intellectual.

–[insert in this slot quick trip to grocery store, bank, eating dinner, speaking to grandmother on phone, doing nothing interesting]

–hung new poster. looked at it and was glad i bought it.

–opened poster tube (or half poster tube rather, as i discovered once i’d peeled back the notebook paper and packing tape that sealed one end. i’m onto your thrifty ways, mister) and pulled out new poster, along with six free stickers! it was nicer than i thought it’d be even. it’s silkscreened on canvas, not poster paper. and owning it is apparently a privilege i share with only 65 other hey mercedes fans. it says 50/66 right there on the front. and it’s pretty stylish. as are the stickers, although i’m sure i share that privilege with far more fans.

–got poster tube from mailroom. saw that the return address said simply “nanna” above an address, and chuckled. what if i went to this address like a crazed stalker? i wouldn’t do that of course, i was just wondering if anyone closer to that address would try to stop by or something sometime to see a real live rockstar. or maybe it was a decoy address and he’d already thought of that. if it is though, where do i send the thank you note?

–stepped off the bus at 6:40…much later than expected. but at least i had a new poster waiting for me at home.

–got off work late because we had a mini-meeting at five minutes to five. waited at the bus stop after leaving office at 5:30 until at least 6. i didn’t like that at all. but, i thought, i don’t have anything to do tonight — it could be anything — so what does it matter if i come home a little bit later than usual. hopefully it’ll be a good night anyway.

so that was it. and one of those was completely out of order but it just made the story work better. artistic liberties, you know.

i should make a movie. or read act 4 and go to bed.

aaah, satisfied from lunch and nearing the end of the day. excellent. and finally through (at least for now) with the drudgery and onto some more interesting projects. but who wants to think about anything really with only 25 minutes left until it’s time to leave? i mean, i may as well start getting ready to go now, right?

collapsing might have a new friend too, if she/they don’t think i’m nuts anyway. don’t be scared, i’m just trying to be a good neighbor.

time to go? almost? right?

i’m a hungry bear. and while i’m waiting for the pizzas to come for lunch i’d much rather stall doing any work by blogging than try to work right now. i’m in no condition. it’s alright though, half the office (sure, that only means two people) are out smoking anyway. so they’ve got their addictions, i have mine…

okay, i found out last night at some point about this show. i want to go so much, but i’m in los angeles, none of the cities on this list. so i miss a show where i could see shiner and burning airlines at the same time! (shaking fist in air). so if any of my friends read this and are going to be in chicago, please try to go to this show for me. August 4th at the empty bottle. what else would you do with your saturday night that could be cooler? and get me a shiner t-shirt if you go, i’ll pay you back. as a matter of fact, if anyone could just go to this show for me, that’d be fine too. let me know what a great performance i missed. anonymous readers, don’t let me down. i’ll pay you back for the shirt; i wear size medium. thanks!

oh yeah, one more last thing, i swear this’ll be it for now. a very nice girl linked to this page last last friday and i should thank her for it because i’m sure more people read her than read me.

so thanks!

i checked. it’s heyday.

i survived work, i’ve been home for some time now. things were better in the afternoon because we had a meeting for a few hours where we just talked about ideas and i didn’t have to do any more of the drudgery. it was fine by me.

getting home was good because we had a tasty barbeque again. that little mini-weber is getting a mighty workout this summer. cheeseburgers and ball park franks. you know, i didn’t think it really mattered what hot dogs you bought, they all tasted like hot dog. but ball park franks are so much better than the generic ralph’s brand “meat weiners” that we’ve been getting until now. from this day forward i will spend the extra eighty cents and buy ball park! so dinner was good.

sadly though, it was josh’s last barbeque because he had to leave for down under at 7 tonight. so his mom and sister were at the barbeque with us and they’re really nice and it was a really good time. but it meant that afterward we had to watch him get in a car with his bags and drive away, not to be seen again until mid-december. holy shit, that just blows my mind. he’s just gone, just like that. damn. well i’ll relate his adventures as i hear them (unless he decides someday that he wants to start his own blog, or join this one, which would be fine by me. then he could tell the adventures himself), and i know we’ll be in touch as much as we can, cause he’s the greatest. if you read this, josh, i miss you already.

on a brighter note, not only is the new hey mercedes song good, but i got a new (well, it’s old, but new to me) castor cd in the mail today, tracking sounds alone. oh man, is it good. oh man. how many times do i have to say oh man to convey it’s goodness to you? it’s so rock. it makes me wish, again, and to a greater degree than i had before, that i was in college in the midwest in the mid to late nineties, so i could go to every possible concert of the great emo/indie rock titans of the time. i already wished to have seen braid, hum, and shiner in their hey day (or is it hay day? haiday? i’ll have to find out later), but now i have to add castor to that list. oh man. all that great midwestern rock, and three out of the four live no longer. oh well. at least shiner’s still together and hey mercedes is also an excellent band. i still miss the midwest though. to know how i feel you should buy or borrow these four cd’s, and listen to them while sitting in a comfortable chair and soaking in the glory: the aforementioned castor cd, shiner’s lula divinia, hum’s downward is heavenward, and braid’s frame and canvas. not that these are the best, necessarily, of every band’s catalog, but i know they should be sufficient to dazzle you if you are into good music. and i’d probably say they were my personal favorites. now go and rock. it’s time for me to weep at the loss of my friend to the land of men at work.