in a testament to going all out on a holiday weekend, and of course my love for america, the past four days were a mostly beer-soaked affair with the added bonus of having left physical marks on my body. let them be a reminder that perhaps climbing on and/or jumping off of things that are twice your height might not be the best idea after hours of beer, beer pong, delicious beer-boiled bratwurst, and the resulting beer wooziness from a barbeque done right. today, it hurts to sit down because of the large bruise on my now red-white-and-blue upper thigh.

also, next time we want to set off explosives, our own apartment complex roof may not be the best place to do it. at least if we’d rather not be visited twice by the cops and have a police chopper do a few loops overhead. must remember that some neighbors just don’t love america as passionately as we do.