special report: 2 things that are way overrated.

first, open water.

i was supposed to go see garden state but my film-savvy friends convinced me to see this instead because i was already at lunch with them and they were going. well, there’s a lesson here boys and girls; your friends are dumb. this movie was such a let down on a concept that could have been pretty tense and scary, but ended up being bland and anticlimactic. there were some scary moments, don’t get me wrong, i was freaked out. but let’s not forget about the other 72 minutes of the movie. because when an 80-minute movie starts feeling long, you’ve got a big problem. don’t bother, seriously. boring. not good. disappointing. and what’s with all that water?

also, the confederacy of dunces.

the cover says hilarious and pulitzer-winning, and you know what? i guess one of those i can’t really argue. as far as hilarious, it was moreso just bizarre and uncomfortable. i did laugh several times, but i still wouldn’t say this was a really funny book, just absurd. i wouldn’t warn you off this the way i would say stay the hell away from open water, because this wasn’t bad. i was impressed with the way it tied up in the end at least. but again, some people think this is one of the funniest books ever written. those people must not be very fun to go to parties with, and were probably drama geeks in high school. i know better.

so if you want a scary ocean movie see jaws, and if you want a really literate and hilarious book i’m sure there are hundreds of better ones, although from my library infinite jest and light house come to mind immediately. oh, and while we’re talking overrated i also don’t like baja fresh tacos very much either.

[now hearing this: that merge sampler again. HOT.]