here i am on tuesday and i don’t think i’m gonna pull a stunt like yesterday’s. i feel like doing something with my day today. i wish i could build a sand castle.

the morning just hasn’t started out very cheerily though. for one, it’s cloudy and overcast and chilly almost, at least for southern california in the summer. not that i want sun all the time, just that it’s always cloudy but it never rains here. reminds me of myself. (huh?) it only rains if february. my problem is that if it rained, at least i would be wet and i’d feel awake. this way everything’s just dim and bland, and i feel like i’m still half asleep.

the second things was having to stand up on the bus. i might not have minded normally, but i wanted to read today. and i can’t do that if i’m holding the bar for balance in one hand, and holding my skateboard in the other. so i just got to teeter there in the aisle waiting to get off. humph. maybe i could get one of those spiffy backpacks that you can strap a skateboard into and solve my problem, only (a) the length of my board and (b) my all-to-clear knowledge that i’m not a real skateboarder and shouldn’t look like one both prevent me from trying that. so it’s just teetering in the aisle on the crowded days for me.

i don’t know what’s going on in my head lately but i desperately need something new. maybe the batch of rock concerts on the horizon will help, but i feel in the muck lately. going back to classes in a few weeks might help a little because it’ll be switching things up a bit. i’m pretty sure getting some random new roommate to take josh’s place in our four-person university apartment won’t help at all. i miss josh. i don’t want a new roommate. i want a new room. i want a new a lot of things.

at least the promise ring plays good songs. why did we ever meet, you ask? that’s a very good question.