in the mens’ room just now, i didn’t just see a man firing away with no support, as it were, which normally creeps me out anyway; but i saw a man going no-handed while he brushed his teeth. at a urinal? what!? i’ve never seen that before in my life. shouldn’t those two activities cancel out or something?

i can only hope that some day i am important enough that i cannot waste precious minutes of my impressively valuable time at the sink for my vital 3:30pm workday toothbrushing (the benefits of which someone of lesser importance couldn’t hope to understand) and am forced to multitask in this fashion. a true sign of relevance.