what i have left to do before being done with school amounts to a paltry handful of tasks. a philosphy paper on sartre’s views of love vs. sexual desire (5-7 pages), an economics final exam with requisite study time, a philosophy take-home exam (two 3-page essays), and that video art project i’ve been putting off and not doing for forever now. and i even started that thing this week and it’s more than half done in its rough form, so really i’m in the endgame here.

of course there are also a few incidentals that i should probably do real soon too for non-class things. i feel so motherly trying to plan our graduation picnic, for example. i actually had a moment of worry about whether or not we should get table cloths. of course only moments after worrying, “but it’ll look so much nicer if we had them!” my inner maleness, which i assure you exists truly and strongly no matter what you may think, fired back with a firm, “of course we don’t need them, you sissy. this is a barbeque and that money can be much better spent on beer.” but i do have to call and rent tables and chairs because personal maleness aside, my grandmother would most likely not be excited about sitting on our lawn of gravel to eat a bunch of ribs. i’d hate to see that happen. i’m more excited about calling to order 400 dollars worth of barbequed meat though. talk about maleness.

plus i’m racking my brains for a good first-date plan. it’s times like this when i think to myself, ‘how can i have lived in this city for four years and still have no idea where to take a girl?’ but since the answer is probably that i don’t really go on dates ever i start doing other things to keep from having to own up to that fact.

some of those things include such delights as: reading about progressive scan dvd players and how they will affect the picture on a rear projection television that i want to own before the year’s end and worrying that some of them don’t have coaxial audio out, only optical audio out (gasp!); trying to kill people in one sniper shot while playing networked halo with my roommates; listening to the foghat hit ‘slow ride’ at cranked-up volume more times than is acceptable and playing air guitar on an old croquet mallet out in the entryway of our house; and talking to my friend jen about how i’m probably screwing things up by not having asked this girl out on a real date by now.

yeah, it really isn’t much of a wonder that i’m single. here’s to beating the odds!

[now hearing this: “sloooooow riiiiiiide…(duh duh, duh, duh…)…take it eeeeeas-aayyyy!”]