DO NOT SEE THE TRANSPORTER. i have to try to warn as many people as possible, as early on as i can. i realize this service would have been better used last weekend when it opened, but to anyone who hasn’t caught it yet and was thinking about it, i suggest seeing one of the several other excellent options available to you (rules of attraction), or just running in the opposite direction of the theatre. it’s the only sensible option.

seriously, DO NOT SEE THE TRANSPORTER, ever. don’t do it. the few scenes of okay but still ridiculous action do not come close to making up for the ridiculous and unbearable excuse for a storyline. the characters appear, make no sense, deliver awful lines, and get in fights that don’t reach much of a climax at any point along the way. nothing is ever explained in the weird plot they devised as an excuse to make an otherwise cool actor get in a bunch of silly fights and cheat death repeatedly, and by the end you’re more confused and stupefied by their brash omission of key explanatory facts to the story that you’ll only leave angry and upset, even if you might be laughing at the nonsense you just witnessed.

i can’t believe they fooled me into seeing that. at least it started off well. but still, DO NOT EVER, EVER SEE THE TRANSPORTER.

[now hearing this: cursive mp3’s, until i buy get out to pick up the cd.]