i remember this feeling. it set in last year at about this time. just after spring break (although i could feel it creeping up just before then too). i also recall it from november, just before thanksgiving. this is not a good feeling to have, even though it feels good — don’t get the two mixed up.

this is a definite and hard-to-resist urge to do what i’m doing right now: sit in my desk chair which is thankfully able to rock back and forth, listening to music and swaying front to back, staring at the posters, out the window, at a blank computer screen; to do this only, and at all times. schoolwork and even things that at other times would be enjoyable hobbies have no appeal or draw or hold over me. the list of projects to work on cowers in the shadow of my lethargic springtime apathy. i want to sit in the sun and watch the wind blow through the trees. i certainly have no desire to study the morphological differences of monkeys vs. apes, look through job listings, or give presentations to classes full of similarly disinterested students.

springtime is definitely here, and that means it’s time for a change. if i could make a wish right now, my first thought would be to skip the month of april. but then my first fear becomes, “what happens after next spring, when i’m not guaranteed a change of pace every 4 months? what do i look forward to then?”

stagnation is a terrifying adversary.